Because I Love You
by smacky30
Summary: Sara finally pushes Grissom over the line. Complete! Hope the end was worth the wait. Thanks for all the reviews.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

"Because I love you, dammit," Grissom snapped. He stood staring out the window trying to ignore the woman standing across the room. Never had he met someone who could goad him like Sara could.

The argument had started at the lab. Well, it was not really an argument. It was more of a discussion with Sara doing all the talking, as usual. This one did not start because Sara had found another guy to keep her company or Grissom had gone to dinner with some other woman. The usual reasons were used up. This started because Sara had finally had enough.

Grissom had paired himself with Sara and everything was going great. The flirting, the not-quite touching, the lingering looks resumed as if the last two or three years had not happened. By the time the two headed back to the lab Sara was so distracted she couldn't think straight. Just before end of shift, she walked into Grissom's office and closed the door. Her intention was to try to continue to bridge the gap between them. However, even the best laid plans can backfire.

When Grissom clammed up, and acted like she was speaking in some obscure language, something inside her just snapped. She stormed out of the lab and drove to his house. As soon as he pulled into the driveway she was out ofher car. His only options were to air their laundry (dirty or not) in front of his neighbors or invite her in. Grissom never thought twice.

Sara stood by Grissom's front door; hand on the knob, with her mouth agape. She finally reminded herself to breathe and drew a ragged breath into her lungs. "What did you say?" she croaked.

"You heard me," Grissom said softly. The anger seemed to drain from his body. His shoulders sagged. He propped his hands on the window sill and let out a shaky breath. "You heard me," he repeated.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Sara asked. "Is it really so horrible to admit that you have feelings for me?"

"No, Sara, it's not horrible. It is painful and wonderful and impossible. But it is not horrible," Grissom said. With his confession hanging in the air, Grissom couldn't seem to stop the words. How had he let her push him this far? For a man who valued his self-control he wasn't doing so well in that department right now.

"Look at me," Sara said. "Please."

Grissom straightened up and turned around. His breathing was rapid, jaw clenched and expression inscrutable. "Are you satisfied?" he demanded.

"Satisfied? How could you possibly think that I would be satisfied by this?" Sara bit out. "I have waited years to hear those words from you and, for some reason; this is not how I imagined it would be." Sarcasm dripped from her last statement but seemed lost on Grissom.

At Grissom's silence Sara allowed a small chuckle to escape. Shaking her head at the absurdity of the situation she released the door and took a couple of steps into the room. "Can we sit down please?" she asked. "There are some things I need to say."

Grissom gestured toward the sofa. Following her over, he took a seat next to her. The distance between them seemed greater than the mere inches that separated them physically. Sara turned her body and leaned back into the corner drawing her legs up under her and folding her hands in her lap. Grissom remained sitting stiffly, facing forward.

"I don't quite know where to start," Sara said. "I know you probably don't believe that, but it's true. I know you would rather just forget this whole thing but I can't do that. I need to know why you continue to deny how you feel. Can't we just try having a conversation?"

"Sara," Grissom mumbled, "I don't know what to say."

"You are a brilliant man and a nationally renowned scientist. You have given lectures before hundreds of people. You just said that you love me. How can you not know what to say now?" Sara asked.

"Science is based in fact. There is no guess work, no emotion. I understand science. I don't understand you," Grissom stated with a slight shrug, turning his head to look at Sara.

Closing her eyes, Sara drew in a deep breath and expelled it in a rush. Opening her eyes she met his gaze and gave a half smile. "What if I said that I'm not sure what to say either? Would you feel better then?" Sara asked.

"The indomitable Sara Sidle doesn't know what to say?" Grissom quipped. The glint in his eye took the sting out of his words.

"Oh there is plenty I want to say. I'm just not sure you are ready to hear it," Sara said with a laugh.

"Okay, you talk and I'll listen." Throwing up a hand to ward her off, Grissom said, "I know that is not how you want this conversation to go so I'll do my best to hold up my end of it."

"Well, I want to start with why I'm here," Sara stated, "In Vegas – not your house. I came here to do a favor for a friend. I accepted the job for a chance to work in one of the best labs in the country. I kept the job to be near you and because you asked me to. I have never tried to hide how I feel. I have made you uncomfortable. I have embarrassed myself. I have been hurt. Nothing has caused my feelings to waver."

"Sara," Grissom started only to be cut off.

"Let me finish," Sara said. "I have known for a long time how you feel about me. I heard you with Lurie. I knew that you were talking about me. It broke my heart that I wasn't worth the risk. It also gave me hope. God, how crazy does that sound?"

"I'm sorry," Grissom whispered. "I didn't know you were there."

"Would it have changed how you feel or just what you allowed yourself to say?" Sara asked.

Grissom met her gaze before dropping his eyes to the floor.

"Did you think that by not saying anything you could make it stop?" Sara questioned. "That doesn't work. Believe me I've tried."

"What?" Grissom asked jerking his gaze back to hers.

"Oh, you don't like that," Sara said. "You don't want to admit that you care about me but you don't want me to forget that I care about you. Something is very wrong here."

"I never tried to forget," Grissom said. "I have done my best to ignore it but I could never forget. It has become a part of who I am." He closed his eyes as if this admission were too private for even this time and place.

"Well, don't look so upset about it. It isn't the end of the world. Is it?" Sara said. "I guess I just don't understand why you fight so hard against me. You don't seem to have this problem with anyone else."

"Sara," Grissom said on a sigh, "I don't have anything to lose with anyone else. Don't you understand that I am no good at relationships? I am old and set it my ways. I have enjoyed the occasional date but there is no commitment and no emotional investment. I can't say it would be the same with you."

Sara leaned forward and touched Grissom's forearm. Her words came rushing out. "So what you're telling me is that in order to keep yourself from any kind of emotional entanglement you deny how you feel? If you do love me you are already involved. Does keeping it inside make it any less real?"

Grissom shook his head and said, "No. It is, and always has been, real."

"Then what are you going to do about it?" Sara asked.

"Would you believe that I still don't know?" Grissom said with a sad smile, his attempt at humor falling flat. "Seriously, Sara, what do you expect me to do? I can't change who I am. I can't be what you want me to be."

"How do you know what I want you to be? Why do you think I want you to change? I love you now. What is so hard for you to understand?" Sara stopped to catch her breath, her frustration apparent. She stopped her questioning to let Grissom catch up. His dazed expression said that he was overwhelmed.

"Okay," Sara said, "let's start with something simple. Do you think about me when I am not around?"

"Yes," Grissom whispered not meeting Sara's direct gaze.

"Good. Do you enjoy my company when I am around? Let's ignore the fighting for now," Sara said.

"Yes," Grissom said a little louder this time.

"Alright," Sara said. "Do you have fantasies about me? You don't have to be graphic. A simple yes or no will do."

Grissom's head snapped around and he gave Sara a shocked look. "I don't think I can answer that"

"I'll take that as a yes," Sara said giving Grissom her brightest smile. "Now, I haven't gathered a lot of evidence but it all seems to point in the same direction."

"What direction is that?" Grissom asked, smiling in spite of himself.

"I think that the evidence says we should give this a shot. You are denying both of us something that we want. I, for one, am getting a little bit fed up," Sara told Grissom.

"And what happens if it doesn't work?" Grissom questioned. "How can we go back to what we have now?"

Sara shook her head and asked, "What do we have now? We are barely friends. We make everyone around us uncomfortable. Why would we want to continue in this vein? Much less go back?"

"You know, when you put it that way, it doesn't really make sense to go back. How did it get this way Sara?" Grissom asked, truly puzzled.

"Two people refusing to give an inch for the other. I refused to give up and you refused to give in. It isn't easy to keep that kind of tension out of every aspect of your life," Sara said.

"If I tell you again that you're right would you believe me?" Grissom asked.

This drew a chuckle from Sara. She ranher hands through her hair. Tucking it behind her ears she reached out and took Grissom's hand, saying "All I want is a chance. A chance to spend time together, to find out if this could work. Is that too much to ask?"

Grissom turned his hand over and held on to Sara. "It might be. I have never met another woman who can twist me in knots the way you do. I'm afraid that I could do something to drive you away. I am afraid," Grissom said.

"Do you think I'm not? I am just as scared as you are. I have just as much at stake. The difference is that I am willing to take the chance on you that you aren't willing to take on me," Sara said quietly, trying unsuccessfully to pull her hand back.

"Sara, why do you love me?" Grissom asked looking into Sara's eyes.

"Wow, you don't ask easy questions do you?" Sara said. "This might take a few minutes. I love your intelligence. You challenge me to be better than I am. I love your compassion. You try to pretend that you are unaffected by the things we see when you really feel it very deeply. I love your intensity. I love your sense of humor. I love the way I feel when you look at me. I love your hair and the cleft in your chin. I love the color of your eyes. I love the way you walk. I love the way you protect the people who work for you…."

"Okay, okay," Grissom said. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes wouldn't meet her gaze. "Stop before I get a complex. Do you really see all of those things in me?"

"Oh yeah," Sara said, "all that and more"

"Sara," Grissom raised his eyes to hers, "can I kiss you? I know that we are still a long way from a solution but I don't…" Grissom's voice trailed off when Sara began nodding her head.

"Yes," she whispered.

Releasing her hand from his grasp, Grissom turned his body toward hers. He placed his hand on her cheek and bent forward slowly. Just before his lips touched hers for the first time he whispered her name.

Never had a man kissed her the way Grissom did. He fitted his lips to hers gently. There was a reverence in the exchange that she had never experienced before. She sighed against his lips. A feeling of completion swept over her. She knew they could never go back.

Grissom kissed Sara with a tenderness he didn't know he possessed. There was no urge to deepen the kiss. All he wanted to do was keep his lips against hers forever. He had denied this for so long that he was afraid to truly let himself go.

Pulling back Grissom watched Sara's eyes flutter open. "We crossed that line didn't we?" he asked softly.

"I think we did," Sara said. "What happens now?"

"I guess I'll have to work on what I'm going to do about this," Grissom said.

"I think you better," Sara told him reaching out and pulling him to her.

The kiss this time was sexual. There was no hesitation on either side. Lips parted, they came together. Their tongues explored each other's mouths. Sara's hands were on Grissom's shoulders. His hands were in her hair. All the emotions of the previous hours coalesced in this one kiss. Years of longing and denial were thrown on the table. Breaking apart Grissom leaned his forehead against Sara's their breath mingling.

"Oh God, Sara, what do we do now?" Grissom groaned out.

"I have a few suggestions," Sara said in a throaty voice. "I just don't know which one to try out first."

Grissom chuckled as he moved away from Sara. Trying to put a little distance between them he took hold of her hand and leaned back on the sofa. "I want more that a physical relationship. I'm an all or nothing kind of guy," Grissom said.

"I want that too but you know we don't have to make any decisions today. We can let this take its natural course. I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready for," Sara said.

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?" Grissom asked with a grin.

"Yeah, I guess it is," Sara said giving him another of her amazing smiles.

Grissom laughed and Sara joined him. There was a definite sense of freedom that came from baring your soul to another person. The relief made Sara almost giddy. Things weren't perfect, by any means, but they had made a start.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 2

It had been three days since Sara and Grissom had what she had started referring to as the "come to Jesus meeting". Things at work had been a little awkward the first day but a call from Grissom after shift helped to smooth out the rough edges. They spent an hour just talking about inconsequential things – as inconsequential as two geeks can get. When he called the second day to 'chat' Sara was amazed. Before hanging up, Grissom asked Sara to have breakfast with him the following day.

After a particularly tough shift, Sara stopped by Grissom's office. Taking up her usual position in the doorway, she took a minute to study Grissom without his being aware of her presence. Smiling, she said, "Hey."

Grissom looked up and smiled, "Hey yourself. I'll be done here in a minute."

Glancing around to make sure no one could overhear, Sara asked, "Where are we going?"

"I thought we could go to the diner. I thought it might be better if we weren't 'alone' together," Grissom said and then added hurriedly, "Not that I don't want to be alone with you but…"

"It's okay, Gris, I know what you mean," Sara said with a wide smile. "I'm not going to tear into you. The diner sounds great."

"How about I meet you there in fifteen minutes?" Grissom suggested.

"Okay. Don't be late," Sara said. With a wave she turned and walked toward the locker room.

Sara retrieved her things and was just closing her locker when Catherine walked in. "What are you so happy about?" Catherine asked.

"Nothing, why do you ask?" Sara replied turning to face the other woman.

"You have a smile on your face a mile wide,"Catherine said."Got a hot date?"

"Maybe. Maybe not," Sara said with a teasing glint in her eye. "What makes you think that?"

"No reason. You've just had this "cat that ate the canary" attitude the past couple of days. Makes a girl wonder if you're keeping something to yourself," Catherine joked.

"I'll never tell," Sara said as she walked over to the door. Pulling it open, she turned back to Catherine and said, "See you tonight." She didn't see the thoughtful look on Catherine's face as she sauntered down the hall toward the front doors.

When Grissom arrived at the diner Sara was already seated at a table in the back. As soon as their eyes met the famous Sidle smile split her face. He couldn't believe that he was responsible for putting it there. He also couldn't believe that he would be able to live the rest of his life without seeing it everyday. All she had to do was smile to make him feel like a better person.

Grissom slid into the booth across from her andraised aneyebrow, "Waiting for someone?" he quipped.

"Yep, I sure am. And I hear he's the jealous type. You might not want to be sitting there when he shows up," Sara said with a laugh.

"I think I'll take my chances. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Grissom responded to her teasing with a laugh of his own.

"Well, I suppose one cup of coffee wouldn't hurt," Sara said.

They continued the light-hearted banter until the waitress come over and asked for their order. She asked after the rest of their group before she walked away. The two became quiet as the implication of her question hit them both. It was almost as if the concept of this being a date hadn't occurred to them until that moment.

"Wow," Sara said. "That sort ofbrought ithome, huh?"

"Yeah, who knew anyone would notice that we were here alone?" Grissom asked. "Do you feel as awkward as I do right now?"

"Probably. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Sara said. "I mean coming here – not having breakfast together."

"So, I guess holding hands across the table is out?" Grissom deadpanned.

Sara sat there in stunned silence for a second before bursting into laughter. "Thanks. I needed that."

Once the tension was broken, the two talked easily. They talked about work and roller coasters and their colleagues. Their food arrived and they continued their conversation. They talked about books, movies and cooking. Their plates were cleared and they kept talking. They covered politics and religion. The leaps would have seemed random to an outsider but Grissom and Sara didn't seem to have a problem keeping up. The only thing they didn't discuss was their relationship. It was as if the past five years had never happened. Neither of them noticed how much time had passed until Sara yawned.

"My God, it's ten o'clock," Grissom said, looking at his watch. "We'd better get going or we won't get any sleep."

"Boy how time flies," Sara said with a smile.

Grissom grabbed the check and, standing, helped Sara out of the booth. He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the register. After the bill was paid he guided her out of the restaurant. They both stopped to put on sunglasses against the glare. Walking her to her car, he kept his hand on her back.

Turning to look at Grissom, Sara said, "Thank you. I had a really nice time."

"Me too," Grissom replied. "I want to do this again. You know how hard that was to say, right?"

"Yeah I do. I'd like do this again too. No rush though," Sara told him.

"Okay. No rush," Grissom said. He leaned in and kissed Sara lightly.

"Is that the best you've got bug man?" She asked teasingly.

"Oh, I think I can do better," Grissom replied with a twinkle in his eye. He placed his hands on either side of her face and leaned in again. This time the kiss was slow and sexy. He brushed his lips over hers several times before deepening to let their tongues tangle. Pulling back, he asked, "How was that?"

"Wow," Sara said breathlessly. "I think I need to go now. I can't take another one of those."

"Okay, I'll see you tonight," Grissom said and leaned in to capture her lips in one more quick kiss. He opened her car door and waited for her to climb in. Closing the door he stepped back and waved as she pulled away. Grissom turned to walk to his car and bumped into Catherine.

"What are you doing here, Cath?" Grissom asked.

"I'd ask you the same thing but I think I already figured it out," Catherine said.

"I...uh...I," Grissom stammered while looking at the ground.

"Don't say anything. I knew something was going on with Sara. I just didn't know that something was you," Catherine was grinning at Grissom's embarrassment.

"I love her Catherine," Grissom stated.

"I know that Gil. Just make sure you know what you're doing. I don't want either of you hurt," she told him. With that she left Grissom standing alone and walked into the diner.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 3

Lost in thought, Grissom walked slowly to his car. Climbing in, he drove home. Even though he was bone tired, sleep was elusive. Catherine's words played over and over in his head. His fear had always been getting hurt. He wasn't sure how he felt about other people knowing about his relationship with Sara. It was very new and fragile. He didn't know how it would stand up under scrutiny. With all these things running through his head, he drifted into a fitful sleep.

Sara, on the other hand, had no trouble sleeping. Having missed Catherine's untimely arrival, she was left with nothing but the memory of Grissom's kiss. Dear Lord, the man could make her knees weak with nothing more than his lips on hers. Her dreams were filled with naked Grissom. She awoke with a smile and ten years of sexual tension filling her veins. She couldn't remember the last time she was this happy. How much longer would she have to wait for the real thing? She was all for taking it slow but this seemed excessive.

Grissom arrived at the lab well before the start of shift. He hadn't slept well and his mood was dark. He was sitting at his desk looking through his messages when Sara knocked on the door.

"Hey, how's it going?" Sara leaned against the door jamb with her arms crossed her face split by a huge smile.

Grissom didn't look up. "Fine."

Sara stood there for another moment, the smile fading from her lips. "Gris, is there something wrong?"

The hesitation in her voice made Grissom raise his eyes to her. "No. Nothing's wrong. Just didn't get much sleep," he said tersely, turning back to the pink slips in his hand.

"Ooookay, see you later." She walked toward the break room with a puzzled expression on her face. _What could be wrong now? I can't imagine how anything could have happened in the last twelve hours that would've caused this._ Enteringthe break room she headed for the coffee pot. Taking a sip from the cup she sighed in pleasure. Moving over to the table, she sat down in a chair next to Nick. "Hey Nicky, how's it going?"

"It's going. How 'bout you?" Nick drawled, smiling.

"I'm good." Sara returned his smile as Warrick walked in. "Hey 'Rick. What's up?"

"Nothin' girl, what's up with you?" Warrick's gaze was questioning.

"Not much." Sara met his eyes with a crooked grin. Catching his probing look she quirked one eyebrow in a silent question of her own.

"What's that look for?" Nick wanted to know. He glanced back and forth between them a couple of times. "Am I missing something?"

"What look?" Warrick laughed. "You must be seeing things, Nick, my man."

"Yeah, whatever, you two are up to something," Nick told them both.

"Who's up to something?" Grissom walked through the door with several files under his right arm and looked around at the three CSI's. They all fell silent with guilty looks on their faces. "Where's Catherine? We need to get started." He placed the files on the table.

"I'm here," Catherine walked past him and headed for the coffee pot.

"Okay. All we have tonight is a carjacking at the Tangiers. Nick, you take that. If anything else comes in I'll let you know." Grissom handed Nick the sheet with all the details. "Catherine, where are you on last night's John Doe? Is there an ID yet?"

"We're hoping for a hit on the fingerprints. We've also put out feelers for missing persons. So far we've gotten nothing. Warrick and I can go back to the scene to look for possible witnesses tonight." Catherine pushed her hair behind one ear and massaged her forehead. She seemed to be fighting a headache.

"Are you okay?" At her nod, Grissom continued. "Good. Keep me posted. Sara, what about the smash and grab? Any suspects?" He managed to pose his questions without meeting her eyes.

"I have the surveillance tapes for Archie. Since Greg's off, I guess I'll be in the A/V Lab." Sara's voice was quiet. Her eyes were wary.

"Okay, that's it. I'll be doing paperwork if anyone needs me." With that he turned and walked out of the break room and down the hall.

Everyone stood and left the break room. Catherine stopped Warrick in the hall. "I'll catch up with you in a minute. I need to see Gil about something."

"Is everything okay? He seemed a little Grissom-like just now." Warrick green eyes were full of concern. Even though Catherine had been upset about Tina they had managed to keep their friendship close. She had told him about seeing Grissom and Sara at the diner. He had a feeling that something bad was about to go down. He just hoped they all survived the fallout.

"I don't know but I intend to find out. Would you check on the fingerprints? Meet you at the car in ten." Catherine turned and headed toward Gil's office. She knocked and walked right in. Taking a chair in front of his desk she cleared her throat and waited for him to look up.

"Go away Catherine. I don't want to talk about it." Grissom's voice was rough and his tone short. "I said everything I have to say earlier."

"Gil, what are you doing? You tell me you love her but you won't even look at her. I saw the way you kissed her. That didn't look like you were unsure. Have you gone crazy since this morning?" Catherine wanted to raise her voice but the pounding in her head wouldn't allow it. She hoped the pain killers she had swallowed in the car would kick in soon.

"Cath, it's really none of your business. I know you think you can help but I don't need your advice right now." Grissom knew his reply was rude but couldn't seem to stop himself. He couldn't take any prying right now. Sometimes there was no other way to escape Catherine.

With tears in her eyes and a quiver in her voice Catherine said, "Fine. Just don't come to me when you screw it up again. I have helped you out with her for the last time." She stood up and left his office. She wiped her eyes, squared her shoulders and headed toward the car to meet Warrick.

_Damn! I blew Sara off without a reason. Then, like I didn't have enough to deal with, I just made one of the strongest women I know cry. She was trying to help me and I made her cry. Could I be a bigger jerk if I tried?_ Grissom leaned back in his chair. Removing his glasses he pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache coming. It was starting in his shoulders and running up the back of his neck. Sitting up he opened a drawer and pulled out a bottle of pain relievers. He shook out three. Swallowing them with some of the bottled water on his desk, he silently hoped they would stop the pain before it took hold. Reaching for his cell, he called Catherine.

"Willows," she answered abruptly. She had been brooding when his name popped up on the caller id. She debated letting it go to voice mail. Unfortunately, he might actually be calling about something work related and she couldn't take that chance.

"Catherine, I'm sorry." Grissom's voice was subdued. "I know you're only trying to help. This is something I have to work out for myself. I never meant to hurt your feelings."

"Gil, I understandhow Sara has felt all these years and I'm beginning to question her sanity. You can be extremely cruel when you want to be. We'll talk about this later. I'm not up for it right now." With that she closed the phone, cutting the call off.

Warrick glanced at Catherine's profile. "Hey, are you okay?" His deep voice was full of concern. He started to reach out to her but stopped himself. Close or not, he didn't feel comfortable touching her anymore. Sometimes the things you gained didn't out weigh the things you lost.

Catherine turned her head and looked at Warrick. She was holding on to her composure by a thread. "I'm fine. I just forgot how big of an ass Gil can be sometimes. I just need a minute to pull it together. Okay?" With that she turned back to look out the window at the passing lights.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 4

Sara was watching Archie go through the video tapes she had brought in but her mind was wandering. _Something is wrong. Doesn't it just figure? Three days and he's already pulling away. He can't even look me in the eye. What the hell?_

"Sara," Archie said putting his hand on her shoulder to get her attention. "Hey, Sara, is everything okay?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was thinking about something. What have we got?" Sara jerked her attention back to the monitor.

"Looks like that's your guy. That's only a partial on the plate though. I'll try to enhance it for you." Archie's fingers flew over the keyboard as he worked to bring the suspect's license plate into view. "There. That's as good as it gets."

Sara's eyes took in the image on the screen. "Thanks Archie. If you'll print that for me I'll run this through DMV." She waited for the printer to finish and, with a wave, walked out of the room. Going to her workstation, she logged into the DMV computer and began running combinations of Suburbans with the available tag numbers. When she got several possible matches she called Brass and passed along the information before heading to Grissom's office.

Sticking her head in his office she said, "I gave Brass some possibilities on the smash and grab. Is there anything else going on?"

Grissom looked up and felt as if his heart was going to explode. She was beautiful. Not classically beautiful. It was the light in her eyes. It was her smile. It was her mind. Her mile long legs didn't hurt things either. "Yeah, I need to check on something at a scene. You have time to ride along?"

"Okay. Let me get my stuff. Will you be in the car?" Sara's confusion was obvious to them both. When Grissom nodded and said five minutes, she headed to the locker room.

Grissom was already in the car when Sara got outside. She stowed her kit in the back seat and climbed in on the passenger's side. Glancing at Grissom as she put on her seatbelt she saw him staring at her with a bemused expression on his face. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what? Sorry. Are you ready?" Grissom started the engine and pulled out of the lot.

Sara was looking out her window, lost in thought, until she realized they were in the parking lot of the diner. "Grissom? What are we doing here?" Sara was watching Grissom warily.

"I wanted to return to the scene of the crime. Maybe we can figure out what happened if we can recreate the events." Grissom met Sara's questioning gaze with his calm, unreadable one. "Come around to the driver's side of the vehicle please."

Sara knew that Grissom had gone over the edge. What could he be thinking now? What was he even talking about? Slowly, she opened her door and made her way to the driver's side. Grissom had climbed out and was waiting for her. "Okay, Gris, why are we here?"

"Well, this morning I was having breakfast with a beautiful woman. I had a marvelous time. And, if I am not mistaken, in this exact spot, I kissed her. I brought you with me to help re-enact the scene. After all I've tied you up and pinned you down. I figure you owe me." Grissom was watching Sara intently as he made this little speech. He saw the smile spread across her face and returned it with one of his own.

"Okay. What exactly do I need to do? And why is this a crime? I didn't think it was illegal in Vegas to kiss beautiful women." Sara had moved a couple of steps closer to Grissom and was waiting expectantly for his next instructions. "If that were a crime we would never get a day off again."

"That's true. However, the crime occurred after the kiss." Seeing Sara's puzzled expression Grissom continued, "Let's just start at the beginning and follow the evidence." With that he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her. Slow and sweet, yet hot enough to melt steel. He plundered. He ravished. Every silly romance novel cliché applied to this kiss. He put his heart and soul into it. When he pulled back they were both breathing heavily.

Sara stood in the cool night air with a stunned expression on her face. Her hands had come up to hold Grissom's wrists and she used them now to pull his hands from her face. Still holding onto his arms she looked into his eyes and said, "Wow, she's a very lucky woman. If you ever decide to dump her give me a call." Seeing how serious his expression was Sara asked, "Okay, if kissing wasn't the crime what was?"

"After I kissed this woman she drove away. I was then approached by a second woman. This other woman is apparently a very observant person." Grissom was watching the emotions playing across Sara's face. "Her observations caused me some agitation."

"So you are telling me that some unknown person approached you in this parking lot and discouraged you from kissing? Surely that isn't the crime either." Sara's tone was light but her eyes were serious.

"No. The crime was actually committed much later. I saw the beautiful woman again and was not very nice to her. I also saw the other woman again and was extremely rude to her. I want to apologize to the beautiful woman but I'm not sure how." Grissom was still searching Sara's eyes as if they held the secrets of the universe. "Do you think she will forgive me?"

"I think that if you were to kiss her like you just kissed me she might just be able to forgive you. I know if it were me, I would forgive you anything for one of those kisses." Sara moved her hands up Grissom's arms and locked her fingers behind his neck. "Do you need help working out the apology too?"

"I think I might," Grissom said just before his lips captured hers again. He brought his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against his body. They were both only dimly aware of their surroundings until some of the diner's other patrons suggested, rather loudly, they 'get a room'. The two pulled apart with an embarrassed laugh. Stepping back, Grissom reached out and brushed the hair off Sara's cheek. "Let's go."

When they were both settled, Grissom started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. "When you left this morning Catherine came up. She had apparently been there for a few minutes. I guess I got upset that she saw us. I don't know if I'm ready for everyone to know." Grissom had reached over to take Sara's hand. "Later, after I ignored you, she came into my office and tried to read me the riot act. I practically threw her out. Se left in tears. I can't remember seeing Catherine cry over anything except Eddie. She's not really talking to me right now."

"My God, Grissom, what did you say to her? And why do you care if she knows? Are you ashamed of kissing me?" Sara jerked her hand away from him and crossed her arms over her chest.

"No, I'm not ashamed. It only took me ten years to admit how I feel _to you_. I'm just not ready for everyone to be involved in my personal life and we both know Cath doesn't know how to keep a secret. As a matter of fact, I told her that I am in love with you." Grissom laid his hand, palm up, on the console hoping that Sara would place hers in it.

After a moment she reached out and grasped his hand. "Okay. But what are you going to do about hurting her? She might be nosy but she cares about you. You need to fix it."

"I know. I called her and tried to apologize. She shut me down. I'll think of something. She has to come back to the lab sometime tonight." Grissom glanced at Sara to see her looking at him. "I just need to know that we are okay. I'll deal with Catherine later." Raising their joined hands to his lips he placed a kiss on the back of hers.

"We're okay, Gris. If being ignored was going to run me off I'd have been gone a long time ago. You couldn't get that lucky." Sara leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. "You're stuck with me, bug man."

Grissom's cell phone started to ring. Answering it he listened for a moment and then said, "Sara and I will be there in about fifteen minutes. Okay, got it." Turning to Sara he said, "Brass has a DB. Looks like we're up. Call Catherine and have them meet us at Bally's in Room 1257." Turning on the blue lights he made a u-turn and headed toward the strip.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 5

Pulling up in front the hotel, Sara and Grissom climbed out and retrieved their cases. As they headed toward the entrance Grissom placed his hand at the small of Sara's back. Brass saw them coming out of the elevator and waved them over. Grissom kept his hand on Sara, in an unconsciously possessive gesture, while Brass went over the details of the case. As the two walked away Brass was puzzled. _What was with the touching? Usually they are at each other's throats about something._

Grissom and Sara were processing the body when Catherine and Warrick arrived about half an hour later. The temperature in the room seemed to drop by twenty degrees as soon as the pair walked through the door. Grissom looked up and said, "Sara, I'll be right back. Warrick, would you start dusting for prints? Catherine, can I speak to you in the hall please?"

Catherine nodded and headed out the door with Grissom following. Leading her away from the officers gathered just outside the door, Grissom said, "Cath, I was wrong and I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Gil, I'll be okay. However, apologizing to me isn't going to change anything. I hope you apologized to Sara too." Catherine stood with her hands on her hips; head cocked to one side and waited on Grissom's answer.

"I just want to make sure that we're still friends. And, for your information, I did apologize to Sara too." Grissom smiled at the shock on Catherine's face. "What? I know when I'm wrong. Come on, we've got a scene to process."

"You didn't send her another plant, did you?" Catherine asked.

"No, I didn't send her another plant. It was a little more personal this time." With that he walked away without noticing the bemused expression on Catherine's face.

Brass stopped Grissom just outside the door. "Is everything okay?" He couldn't remember ever seeing Grissom stop processing a scene for, what appeared to be, a personal conversation.

"Yeah, what could be wrong?" Grissom seemed truly puzzled by the other man's question.

As the two CSI's entered the room, Brass turned to David and said, "What's going on around here? Is it just me or are they all acting a little weird?"

David, who, having determined approximate time of death was waiting for Grissom's crew to finish; shrugged and said, "Beats me. They're always a little weird." He then followed them into the hotel room to find out when he could take the body.

After finishing up, the four CSI's took the elevator down together. The sun was coming up when the four parted in front of the building. As soon as Sara and Grissom were in the car she asked about his conversation with Catherine. "Is everything okay? Did you apologize?"

Grissom snorted (in a very un-Grissom-like manner) and said, "You two are amazingly alike sometimes."

"Who? Catherine and me? No, I don't think so." Sara's tone was defensive. After all, the two women had had their share of disagreements. The tide could turn either way depending on the day of the week.

"Yes, you and Catherine. She wants me to apologize to you. You want me to apologize to her. You can both stop worrying. Okay?" Grissom reached over and touched Sara's hair. His voice was soft when he said, "There are worse things than being compared to Catherine."

"I know, Gris. I didn't mean anything by it. It's just…" Sara shrugged helplessly.

Warrick waited until they had followed Grissom away from the casino before asking Catherine if everything was okay. At her nod, he smiled. "Good. You had me worried. I don't think I've ever seen you cry before. I didn't like it very much."

"Thanks. I don't know why he got to me today. Sorry if you were worried." Catherine smiled at him. "Wait, did you see that?" Catherine said, pointing out the windshield.

"See what?" Warrick asked looking at the vehicle in front of theirs.

"Nothing, I must be imagining things." Catherine shook her head a smile playing around her lips. No way did she see Gil run his hand over Sara's hair on 'company' time. It wasn't even a possibility.

After making sure that all their evidence was secured Sara stopped by Grissom's office. Standing in her usual position she cleared her throat to get his attention. "I'm going home now. You do realize shift is over, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I just have a couple of reports to finish and sign. I'll probably be another hour." Grissom's blue eyes held her gaze as a smile parted his lips. "I'll call you when I get home. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll talk to you later." With a wave Sara turned and headed to the locker room. Once she had gathered her things she headed out to get in her car. Seeing Catherine in the parking lot she called her name. "Hey. Are you okay? I understand that our fearless leader gave you a rough time this morning."

"Yeah, I'm okay. I…uh…I just want you to know that I'm happy for you." Catherine reached out and grasped Sara's hand. "Just please don't hurt him. He's very vulnerable right now and you could crush him."

Sara laughed mirthlessly. "I could crush him? You've got to be kidding. After everything I've put up with, you question my intentions?" Her voice was clipped and her eyes angry.

"No, Sara, that's not what I meant. Believe me we have all seen what you have been through. It's just that Gil isn't one to let anybody in. I don't want either of you hurt any more." Sincerity dripped from Catherine. "Look, maybe I should go. I can't seem to get anything right today. I'll see you tonight." With that, she turned, got into her car and drove away.

Sara walked over to her car and headed for home. She stopped on the way to get a few things at the grocery store. When she reached her apartment she changed into her pajamas and headed back to the kitchen to put things away. Just as she finished stowing the last of her groceries her cell phone rang. Smiling, she answered it. "Hey bug man."

"Hey, Sara, what are you doing?" Grissom asked.

"I was putting away some groceries. How about you?" Sara's voice was soft.

"I'm just thinking about getting a kiss from my favorite girl." Grissom teased.

"Oh really. Do I know this girl?" Sara said laughing.

"Yeah, I think you do. She works with me you know?" Grissom chuckled.

"I heard that. Are you sure that's a good idea? What will people think?" Sara said, her voice suddenly turning serious.

"Tell you what, open your door and I'll show what I think about other people." Grissom said quietly.

"What? Where are you?" Sara asked walking to the door and pulling it open. A smile lit up her face as she asked, "Come in." They both closed their phones as she stood back to let Grissom pass and closed the door behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." His simple statement had Sara's heart melting.

"I'm glad. I wanted to see you too." Sara said. She gestured toward the living room and asked, "Do you want to sit down?"

"No. I really can't stay that long. I'm afraid that if I sit down I won't want to leave." Grissom said. "It seems that I'm finding it harder and harder to be away from you." He reached out and stroked a finger down her cheek. "I just needed to see you before I head home."

"That turn down is the sweetest I've ever heard." Sara stepped closer to Grissom. "Okay, you've seen me, now what?"

Grissom closed the gap between them and took her into his arms. He pulled her to his chest and held her. Burying his face in her hair he inhaled deeply. "Ummm, you smell good. It drives me crazy sometimes." He nuzzled her ear and whispered, "You feel so good."

Sara wrapped her arms around Grissom's waistand snuggled into his chest. She felt cherished, protected and, somehow, safe. She knew that she would never willingly let go of this feeling. Raising her head she placed a kiss on Grissom's neck just below his jaw line. She brought one hand up and laid it over his heart. Tilting her head back she smiled up at Grissom. "Are you sure you have to leave?"

"Sara," Grissom groaned, "I can't tell you how much I want to stay. But if I don't go now I won't be able to. We agreed to go slow. I don't want to mess this up." His smile was tender and his eyes clear. The look on his face stole her breath.

"Okay. No pressure, I promised. If you can't stay then kiss me so I can get some sleep." Sara brought her hand up behind his neck and tried to pull him down to her.

Grissom stopped just above her lips and said, "Not can't, Sara, won't. There's a difference, you know?" With that he covered her lips with his. Sara wound her fingers through his hair and, as the kiss deepened, he ran his hands up and down her back in a sensual caress. Finally, he slid his hands down to grip her ass and pull her against his growing erection. His move elicited a moan from both of them.

Releasing her lips, Grissom eased Sara away from him and smiled at her. "I really have to go now. Sleep well. I'll see you tonight." With that he turned, opened the door and walked out into the sunlight.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 6

It was a beautiful Wednesday evening. The setting sun turned the sky brilliant shades of pink and orange. Sara had butterflies in her stomach that felt the size of F-16's. She stood on the small deck, right off her living room, and tried to calm her nerves. It was silly to be this freaked out by dinner. After all, she had been waiting on this for years. The past three weeks had been a strange prelude to what she hoped was going to happen tonight. It was her day off and she had a date.

Grissom was dressed in a sky blue polo that made his eyes seem to leap from his face and jeans that hugged his muscular legs. He had shoved his feet into a pair of loafers. He had a dish towel stuck in the top of his jeans so that he could wipe his hands. There was classical music playing softly in the background. He was cooking dinner. After three weeks of dancing around his attraction to Sara, well ten years and three weeks, he had decided to invite her over. The occasional breakfast, the daily phone calls and the stolen kisses just weren't enough anymore.

Sara arrived at Grissom's house a few minutes before 7:00. She wiped her damp hands on her skirt, and pasted a smile on her face. Reaching out, she rang the bell. She stood, fidgeting, with her hands clasped in front of her. When Grissom opened the door he almost laughed. Sara looked like she would die of fright if someone said boo. He held the door open and asked her in.

"Hey," Sara said, stepping across the threshold. "I hope I'm not too early. I thought there might be more traffic so I left a little early. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Sara, slow down. You're not too early." Grissom did laugh. Never had he seen Sara Sidle so discomfited. "Come on into the kitchen."

Sara followed Grissom. His laughter had helped relax her a little. "Sorry. It's that over-talking thing again. What are you doing in here?"

"Cooking. What? Did you think I was ordering take out?" Grissom teased. "Sara, you have so little faith in me."

"No. I just didn't realize you could really cook. Whatever it is smells delicious." Sara was relaxing more by the minute. Raking her eyes over Grissom she said, "You look really nice, by the way."

"Oh, well, thank you." Grissom was a little embarrassed at Sara's frank appraisal. "I must say that you don't look half bad yourself," Grissom said.

Sara was wearing an orange sleeveless sweater and a flirty skirt that hit at her knees. The color of the sweater complimented her skin tone and gave her a glow. She had taken time with her makeup and pulled her hair up into a 'sloppy' knot that left her long neck bare and allowed the delicate gold hoops at her ears to catch the light. She had on some strappy little heels that, combined with the skirt, only made her legs look longer. However, the greatest shock of all was the very feminine polish on her toenails.

"Thanks," Sara said. They both seemed to have run out of things to say. Suddenly, Sara closed the gap between them and placed a quick kiss on Grissom's lips. "Now, that's out of the way," she said matter-of-factly. Smiling, she stepped back and asked again, "Is there anything I can do?"

"No. Dinner is almost ready. Would you like something to drink? I have wine, beer or water." Grissom's voice was soft. "Or you could have something stronger if you prefer."

"I think I'll have a glass of wine," Sara said.

"Okay. Why don't you go into the living room and have a seat? I'll bring it in to you." Grissom turned Sara around and gave her a light push in the general direction of the couch.

Sara walked over and, smoothing her skirt, sat down on the couch. She picked up a Journal of Forensic Science that was on the end table and began flipping through it. She could hear drawers and cabinets opening and closing in the other room. A smile spread across her face at the hominess of the sounds. She felt, more than heard, Grissom enter the room and looked up.

"My God you're beautiful," Grissom said, stopping in his progress across the room.

Sara blushed. She had never had a man call her beautiful before. She wasn't even sure how to respond to such a compliment. "So are you," she said with a husky voice.

Now it was Grissom's turn to blush. Clearing his throat, he continued to the couch and took a seat beside her. He held out the wine glass, all the while searching her face. "A toast," he said, "to the most patient woman I have ever known. Thank you for waiting."

They touched glasses and each took a sip of their drink. "Wow. If I didn't know better I would think you were trying to seduce me." Sara's smile showed the gap between her teeth.

"If I were, would it be working?" Grissom asked. The seriousness of his gaze touched a place in Sara's heart and stole her breath.

"Oh yeah," she told him. "It would be working really well."

Just then a timer sounded from the kitchen. Grissom stood and headed toward the kitchen. "Let me get dinner out of the oven and I'll be right back. Don't move."

Sara settled back into the cushions and sipped her wine slowly. She was struck by how domestic this felt. She'd had no idea Grissom could cook. But you can't live alone and not learn something. The wine was beginning to warm her and she could feel her muscles relaxing. She stood up and began to wander the room.

The framed butterflies were beautiful but she was more interested in other things. He had a vast collection of music and movies. Some of the titles surprised her. You could learn a lot about a person from the music and movies they liked. The books were another thing entirely. They ranged from poetry to fiction to Entomology text books. Magazines, non-fictionand reference books were in there also. The man had varied tastes.

Grissom walked up beside Sara and began to gently knead the back of her neck. "Dinner is ready. Are you hungry?"

"Yes," Sara sighed, closing her eyes, "but I don't want you to stop doing that."

"Come one, let's eat. I can rub your neck later." Grissom dropped his hand down to hers and tugged her after him back into the dining area.

"Oh my," Sara breathed. "You didn't have to go to this much trouble." The table was set with real china and linen napkins. There were flowers. The light over the table had been dimmed and candles flickered in their holders. There was salad and bread and a bottle of wine.

Grissom led her to the table and held her chair before seating himself. Smiling at her awed expression, Grissom stroked his fingers down her cheek. "How am I doing on the seduction thing now?"

"You are completely off the scale. I just can't believe you really did all this. Who knew you had it in you?" Sara said with tears in her eyes. She blinked back the moisture and said, "Sorry. I'm just overwhelmed."

"I want our first dinner together to be memorable. I never meant to make you cry," Grissom said.

"They aren't sad tears," Sara told him.

"Okay, I don't want to see any sad tears. Let's eat beforeit gets cold," Grissom said.

The dinner conversation was easy. They talked about anything and everything that came to mind. When the salads were done, Grissom cleared the plates and brought out eggplant parmesan. The sauce was homemade, the bread soft, the salad crisp and the winemellow. Everything was perfect and delicious.

Sara leaned back in her chair and sighed in satisfaction. "I don't think I can eat another bite. That was wonderful. Where did you learn to cook like that?"

"My mother loved to cook and she got me started. The rest is self-preservation. I like to eat; therefore, I cook." Grissom explained. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I have dessert also."

"No, I couldn't. Maybe later though." Sara stood and picked up her plate. "Let me help with these dishes. It's the least I can do."

Grissom stood up and took the plate from her hands. Placing it back on the table, he said, "Go in and pick out some music. I'll have these done in five minutes. I also believe in cleaning as I go."

"I don't mind. You don't have to wait on me hand and foot, you know," Sara said.

"I know I don't have to. I want to. Go ahead, I'll be right in." For the second time in one day Grissom pushed her in the direction of the living room.

Sara walked over and began looking for a CD that would fit her mood. She spotted a 'Love Songs of the '80's' and took it out. Flipping it over she read the song titles and then put it into the CD player. Adjusting the volume, Sara set off in search of a bathroom. She returned to find the lights dimmed and candles burning. She didn't think she could be take anymore surprises tonight. Grissom was sitting on the couch and Sara sat beside him, leaning her head against his shoulder. Grissom took hold of her hand and laced their fingers together.

They sat quietly, enjoying the closeness and the sappy music. Grissom lifted her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the palm. "Dance with me?"

Sara was speechless. Could the man really be this romantic? Could any man be this romantic? He was right. This had to be the most memorable date of her life. "I would love to dance with you," Sara said, raising her head to look at him.

Grissom stood and held out a hand to help her up. Pulling her into his arms he laid his cheek alongside hers and moved slowly with the music. She relaxed into his embrace and he felt more content than he could ever remember being. They stayed this way for what could have been hours, not caring what the song was only that they were together.

"Sara, I want to make love to you," Grissom whispered in her ear.

Raising her face to his she said, "I thought you'd never ask."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 7

"Come with me." Grissom took her hand. But instead of leading her upstairs he walked over and opened the door leading out to the patio. Drawing her out behind him, Grissom walked out until there was nothing but sky overhead. He stepped behind Sara and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"What are we doing out here?" Sara asked. Her voice was puzzled. 

"Foreplay," Grissom said and then chuckled at her shocked expression. "No, I don't expect you to take your clothes off here; although, that wouldn't be a bad thing. I'm just continuing the seduction." He placed a gentle kiss below her left ear and asked, "Do you ever just look at the stars?"

"Sometimes, when I want to feel small, I do." Sara leaned her head against his right shoulder and snuggled back into his warmth. 

"It has that effect on me too. The universe is vast and unknown and beautiful. It reminds me of you." Grissom leaned in and rubbed his cheek against hers. "There are so many aspects of you I know nothing about, so many things to learn. I want to make sure I take the time to get to know you."

After several minutes, Sara turned in his arms, placed her hands on his shoulders and said softly, "Kiss me."

And he did. His mouth slanted across hers without hesitation. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck. Tongues intertwined, they changed angles without breaking contact searching for a way to get closer. Grissom ran his hands possessively up and down Sara's back. She strained into him pressing her body against his. Her hands were tangled in his hair pulling his mouth down to hers. His hands slid down and, grabbing her hips, he pulled her tighter against his pelvis. 

Desire was a knot sitting low in Sara's belly. Heat pooled between her thighs. Her breasts were heavy, aching for his touch. Every nerve ending tingled. She was completely immersed in Grissom. The taste and smell of him were intoxicating. She needed to feel his skin. Running her hands down his chest she began tugging the hem of his shirt from his jeans. When his shirt was pulled loose she ran her hands underneath it, up his abdomen and over his chest. 

Grissom gasped at her touch. He felt a stirring in his groin. Tearing his lips from hers, Grissom said, "Let's go inside, unless you really do want to be naked out here." His breath came in ragged gasps. He gently disentangled himself from Sara and took her hand. He couldn't remember her ever looking so sexy. Her eyelids were heavy and her lips swollen. He needed to see, and touch, all of her - now.

Entering the house, Grissom paused to close and lock the door. Turning around he saw Sara's sweater lying on the bottom step but no sign of its owner. Feeling his body tighten in anticipation, Grissom took the time to extinguish the candles before following the trail of clothes up the stairs. Entering his bedroom, Grissom stopped and stared. Sara, clad only in her bra and panties, was lighting the candles he had placed around the room earlier. Grissom noticed that her lingerie matched the color of her sweater and he thought about how the color seemed to give her a glow. Her tousled hair was around her shoulders. Sensing his presence, she turned and smiled. Grissom was finding it hard to breathe. 

Stepping across the threshold, Grissom paused to take off his shoes. He walked forward, stopping in front of Sara and said, reverently, "You are incredible." The candlelight highlighted the curve of her waist, the hollow of her throat, the swell of her breasts. He couldn't take his eyes off her. 

"And I haven't done anything yet," Sara quipped. She was trying to lighten the mood because nerves were starting to set in.

"Yes you have. If we stopped right now, I would still be the luckiest man on earth." Grissom's gaze was hot. His eyes seemed to light little fires all over her skin. "You are everything I could have dreamed of." 

For the second time since she walked through the front door tears glistened in Sara's eyes. "Thank you," she breathed. "Grissom, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, we agreed to take it slow and…"

Grissom smiled. "Sara, if we don't do this I might explode." His expression became serious. "But, if you're not sure, it's okay. This should be mutual." Grissom took a step closer. He could feel the heat emanating from her body. 

Sara closed the distance between them and, reaching up to touch his cheek, said, "I have been sure for longer than I can remember. Now, I do believe, one of us is over dressed for the occasion." With that she grasped the bottom of Grissom's shirt and began pushing it up. 

Grissom raised his arms and allowed her to pull it over his head. Now it was his turn to battle nerves. He was feeling every one of the fifteen years between them. How could someone as exquisite as Sara possibly be pleased by the way he looked? Then her hands were on his chest. Feather light, she ran the tips of her fingers out across his shoulders and then down until her hands were splayed against his abdomen. Stepping into him, she placed a kiss over his heart.

Grissom brought his arms around her and held her like he would never let go. He inhaled the scent that was Sara's alone. And then he was kissing her and touching her like a man who had been dying of thirst and was suddenly given water. She was kissing him back. She reached down and began tugging at his belt, laughing at her own haste until he stilled her hands. Taking over, he unbuckled the belt then brought her hands back down to finish what he started. He watched her unbutton and unzip his jeans. He saw her eyes darken as she pushed them down his legs. She bent to help him step out of them then tilted her head back and smiled up at him. Standing, she hooked her thumbs in his underwear and started to push it down.

"Wait," Grissom said. He took her hands and drew her over to the bed. He climbed in and, lying on his side, held out his arms to her. When she had snuggled into his arms, he took in her puzzled expression and said, "I'm not as young as I once was and it's been a while since I've done this. I don't want it to be over too soon." 

Sara sat up and, leaning down, kissed Grissom gently. Without a word she reached behind her and unhooked her bra. Shrugging her shoulders she let the straps slide down her arms. Catching it in her hands she dropped it off the side of the bed. Grissom's eyes followed the progress of his finger as he traced it down the slope of one breast and across the tip. He smiled as her nipple hardened under his touch. He placed his hand behind her neck and pulled her down until their lips met. Sara slid down until she was once again stretched out beside Grissom. They both moaned softly as skin met skin for the first time. Pulling back, Grissom began to explore Sara's body. He watched her face as he stroked his hand down her side and over her hip before letting his fingertips begin to draw lazy circles over her thighs and stomach. Her muscles quivered at his light touch. Gently pushing Sara over onto her back, Grissom leaned over her and began learning the taste of her. He placed kisses along her throat and across her chest. Reaching her breasts he laved first one peak and then the other with his tongue. Sara brought her hands up to tangle in his hair and arched her back to give him better access. Grissom continued his exploration, placing soft kisses over her belly before running his tongue around her navel. He broke away to hook his fingers in the scrap of satin hiding her from his gaze and slide it over her hips and down her legs. He knelt, sitting back on his heels, drinking in the sight of her. Sara watched him watching her and her arousal climbed another notch. "My God, you are a vision," Grissom breathed in awe. Sara blushed and tried to cover her breasts with her hands. "Don't," he whispered moving her hands away, "I want to look at you."

After a few seconds Sara moved until she too was sitting back on her heels. "I want to look at you too." Before he could protest Sara said, "I know. You can set the pace. I just need to see you. I need to know if my fantasies did you justice." Grissom managed, not very gracefully, to work his underwear off. He returned to kneel in front of Sara. Her eyes roamed across his shoulders and chest, down his stomach, took in his muscular thighs and finally rested on his semi-erect penis. "Oh my, they were nowhere close."

"Is that good or bad?" Grissom asked. He was only half joking.

Sara's eyes flew back to his. "This is a good thing, a very good thing." Sara held out her hand and when Grissom placed his in it she pulled until they were kneeling, face to face, in the middle of the bed. The only thing between them was air that crackled with desire. 

They came together. Hands moved over heated flesh. Kissing and nibbling, they stoked the fire burning between them. Sara was sure her heart would stop when she felt Grissom's fingers stroking between her legs. Throwing her head back she groaned in pleasure. He drew a hardened nipple into his mouth and she felt her insides turn liquid. Sara began pressing her lips to every part of him she could reach. She scattered kisses over his hair, his ears and his shoulders. Reaching down between their bodies she took him in her hand. He was almost fully hard and quickly became harder as she moved her hand up and down his length. 

"Gris, I need you." Sara's voice was like raw silk. "Please." She was grinding against his hand while trying to keep a steady rhythm of her own. She could feel a tightening in her center. Every sensation seemed to be flowing to and from that one spot. Grissom suddenly plunged two fingers inside her and Sara cried out as her body convulsed. He held her as she rode out her orgasm, kissing her cheeks and eyelids, whispering nonsense to her. 

As the throbbing in Sara's body slowed, she dropped her head forward to rest on Grissom's shoulder. She buried her head in the spot where shoulder met neck and placed hot, open-mouthed kisses there. Grissom turned his face to hers and caught her lips in a kiss that she felt all the way to her toes. He continued to move his fingers inside her at a slow pace that served to keep her aroused

"Sara, hold on one second." Grissom withdrew from her body and moved over to open a drawer in the bedside table. He pulled out a condom and tore the package open. Sara, who had moved to wrap herself around his back, reached over and took the package from his hand. Pulling the condom out she told Grissom to lie down. With a gentle touch, and more than a little teasing, she covered his erection. Sara pressed Grissom down onto the mattress and moved to straddle his hips. She leaned forward to kiss him. His penis was snug between her damp thighs, her breasts brushed his chest and he brought his hands up to hold her hips tightly against him. Her heat was going to drive him crazy. Sara sat up and used her hand to guide him inside. She rode him, slowly, until neither of them could stand it anymore. When Grissom realized he was close to the point of no return he used his hand to push Sara over the edge again. He let himself go as soon as he felt the contraction of her muscles. They pounded into each other as both cried out unintelligibly. Sara collapsed on his chest trying to catch her breath. Grissom's heart was pounding and she could feel it under her cheek. He ran his hands soothingly up and down her back. 

Raising her head, smiling into his eyes, Sara said, "How about that dessert now?" 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 8

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months. Sara and Grissom's relationship flourished. Before either of them realized it they were practicallyinseparable. Neither of them being the giddy type, they didn't have tickle fights in the hallways or hold hands in the break room. It was more of a quiet contentment.

They hadn't spoken of their feelings since the day that Sara ambushed Grissom outside his house. There didn't seem to be a reason to. Sara knew he loved her. She could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch and hear it when he whispered her name in the heat of passion. He made her feel cherished. He filled a space that she didn't know had been empty. Grissom had known for years that Sara loved him but allowing her emotions free reign was better than he could have imagined. She made him feel young and virile. She brought out a playfulness that he didn't realize was inside him. Apart they were two damaged individuals. Together they were emotionally whole.

Their co-workers never asked about the change in their relationship but there were rumors flying everywhere. When Sara Sidle has a smile on her face for months on end something is definitely going on. That in itself might not be enough to start tongues wagging; however, the lack of tension (of the non-sexual variety) between her and a certain entomologist was just grist for the mill. The pair took great care to keep the others in the dark. If anyone had asked they probably wouldn't have denied anything. Fortunately, no one did. They felt comfortable with their secret, so comfortable that they became careless.

Grissom and Sara were the last two from night shift to leave the lab. Grissom had been working on the endless piles of paperwork on his desk. Sara had been called out late and didn't get back until after end of shift. When she noticed Grissom still in his office she stopped to say hello.

Looking up, Grissom said, "Hey. Did you just get back?"

"Yeah, I just got everything logged in. How much longer are you going to be?" Sara's eyes were troubled. "I have a couple of errands and thought I'd run by the grocery store."

"I can stop right now if you'd like some company. If not, I can still stop right now." Grissom smiled at her and closed the file he had been reading. Flipping off the desk lamp he stood up and walked around the desk. "Are you okay?" His voice was concerned.

"I'm okay. It's was just rough dealing with the wife's grief." She had been called to an apparent suicide. The wife had found her husband with half his head missing and she was, understandably, devastated.

Grissom's eyes caressed her face. "Come on. Let's go. You need to sleep."

The two CSI's put on their sunglasses as Grissom held the door for Sara. They walked across the parking lot to their cars which were parked side-by-side. Reaching the cars Grissom stopped at Sara's. "Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.

"No. I need to pick up some laundry and get a few things at the store. But thanks for the offer," Sara responded.

"How about I cook breakfast? I can give you about forty-five minutes and then get started." Grissom offered.

"That would be good. It shouldn't take me any longer than that," Sara assured him. "I'll see you in about an hour."

Grissom leaned down and placed a light kiss on her lips. "See you," he said. When he reached his car he turned, "Oh, Sara, could you get me a steak for dinner? I want to grill so get something for you too. Bye."

As they climbed into their respective vehicles and drove away, neither of them saw Ecklie standing across the parking lot. He had been on his way to court and paused when he saw Grissom and Sara talking by her car. No one could have imagined his excitement at catching the two of them together. He had been trying for years to get rid of Sidle and demote Gil. And like a gift from God, the answer had fallen right into his lap. Smiling, he got into his car. He couldn't be late.

Sara arrived at Grissom's place, pulled into the garage and closed the door with her remote. She grabbed the groceries and went inside. Grissom was in the kitchen waiting on the toast to pop up. He had veggie omelets topped with a little salsa warming on the stove. There were slices of cantaloupe in a bowl and strawberry jam for the toast. He had even made decaf so that they stood a chance of getting some sleep today. Bending to give her a quick kiss, he took the bags from Sara and together they quickly put things away. Sara helped bring the food to the table and they sat down to eat.

There wasn't much conversation. Sara was still preoccupied and Grissom had learned that she would open up when she was ready. When they had finished eating they carried their dirty dishes to the kitchen where Sara began loading the dishwasher. They had fallen into a routine, one cooking and one cleaning.

"Go ahead and take a shower, Gris," Sara said. "I'll be up in just a minute."

"Okay. I'll be done in a few." Grissom ran his hand over her hair and bent to place a kiss on her cheek before heading upstairs.

Sara finishedthe dishesand headed up the stairs. She was bone tired. Not physically but emotionally tired. Reaching the bedroom she heard the shower running and Grissom humming some song she couldn't pick out. She walked into the bathroom and, dropping her clothes in a heap, stepped into the shower behind him.

Grissom turned his head in surprise. "You scared me," he said. He turned to face her and pulled her forward into his arms. Sara clung to him and he suddenly felt her body trembling. "Hey, are you crying?" Grissom asked, tilting her face up to his. "What is it honey?"

"It's nothing, Gris. I'm okay," Sara said and then drew a steadying breath.

"If you're crying then it is something. Tell me, Sara, I really want to know." Grissom released her chin and ran his hands up and down her back in a soothing gesture. Grissom knew that Sara found it easier to talk when she was distracted so he released her and picked up the soap. "You talk. I'll wash." With that he began lathering her body.

Sara stood silently for a moment allowing Grissom's touch to relax her. Then she began to speak in a quiet voice. "I don't know what's wrong. I just felt so sorry for Mrs. Riley. She had a fight with her husband last night and left. She spent the night with her sister. She was coming in this morning to get ready for work and found him. He shot himself in the head. She called her sister and the sister called 911. The poor woman was inconsolable. I overheard Mrs. Riley tell her sister that the last words she said to her husband were 'I hate you'." Sara hesitated before saying, "She kept saying how sorry she was and wondering why she hadn't told him how much she loved him."

"Sara," Grissom said, "it's okay to be upset by that. Nobody likes to see someone suffering."

"I know, Gris, but it's not just that. I just started thinking about us. I never tell you how I feel about you. What if something happened and I never had another chance?" Sara's words stilled Grissom's hands.

"Oh, honey," Grissom said, tilting her chin up, "I know how you feel about me. You don't have to say it." He used his thumbs to wipe away the tears streaking her cheeks. Sara could tell the subject was making him uncomfortable. "Please don't worry about that."

"Grissom, I love you. I need to know that you know." Sara laid her hands on either side of Grissom's face and, reaching up, kissed him. Slowly separating her lips from his she whispered, "Make love to me. I need you."

With a groan, Grissom pulled Sara against him. He held her for a moment then pushed her back gently. "Let's go to bed." At her nod, he turned around and cut off the water.

Opening the shower door, Grissom stepped out and picked up a towel. When Sara stepped out he began drying her body. He moved the soft fabric over her back and arms, across her chest and abdomen and then down her legs. Lifting each foot he dried them thoroughly. Satisfied that she was dry he used the towel to quickly dry himself. Smiling down at Sara he gathered her in his arms. "Oh God, you feel so good." He disengaged himself from Sara's arms and led her into the bedroom.

They came together gently. They spent, what seemed like, hours kissing and touching, their arousal building slowly. When he finally entered her it was like coming home for both of them. The emotions were so overwhelming, her heart so full, that tears formed in Sara's eyes.

Seeing the tears, Grissom stilled his slow thrusts and said, "Are you okay? Am I hurting you?"

"No," Sara said. She brought her fingers up to touch his lips. "I have never been so happy in my life. Please don't stop." Replacing her fingers with her lips she gave Grissom the sweetest kiss either of them had ever experienced.

Grissom resumed his leisurely movements. They were wrapped around each other until neither was sure where he ended and she began. They exchanged deep, soul stirring kisses. Heknew there was nowhere else he'd rather be or anyone he'd rather be with. Sara began rocking her hips against him and moaning low in her throat. That was all the encouragement he needed. Grissom quickened his pace and Sara met him thrust for thrust.He waited until he felt her contract around him before letting himself go. As he spilled his seed inside her body he whisperedear, "I love you Sara, so much."

Grissom lay in the cradle of Sara's bodyuntil his heart slowed and his breathing returned to normal. Rolling to one side he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. A few minutes later Sara climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom. She returned with a warm cloth and proceeded to help Grissom clean up. She climbed back into bed and snuggled into Grissom's side. They were asleep within minutes.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 9

Sara and Grissom had gotten up about 8 o'clock. There was something very comforting about waking up next to someone. Grissom had grilled the steak that Sara had picked up for him, along with the salmon she got for herself, while she took care of things in the kitchen. The hominess of the scene wasn't lost on either of them. As they were eating dinner, Sara commented on needing to go to her place to shower and pick up clean clothes before work.

"We need to consider doing something about that," Grissom stated matter-of-factly.

Sara paused with her fork halfway to her mouth. After a moment she lowered it to her plate and said, "Excuse me?"

Grissom, seeing her stunned expression, tried to clarify. "We spend almost every day together anyway. It's just not logical for you or me to have to drive across town to change clothes. I've just been thinking about it." Seeing that she was still starring at him like he had grown a second head, he started stammering, "But if…if…uh…you don't…um…think it's…a good…um…idea then…" Grissom trailed off with a shrug.

"No, it's not that" Sara said. "I've thought about it too. I'm just not sure we're ready," she said thoughtfully and then added quickly, "I mean, living together implies a certain amount of commitment. Not to mention that we haven't 'acknowledged' our relationship to our friends. I don't want to put any pressure on you. Things are going well and I don't want to screw it up by moving too fast."

"If I weren't ready I wouldn't bring it up." Grissom stated the obvious with his eyebrow quirked and lips pursed. "You know me better than that."

"Okay, you're right. It's just that I'm shocked. Tell you what, let's talk about this tomorrow. I don't think we have time to come to an agreement today." Sara reached over and laid her hand on Grissom's thigh. "Bug man you never cease to amaze me." Her smile was radiant.

Placing a kiss on Sara's lips Grissom said, "I could say the same for you."

For the rest of the meal they talked about lighter topics. When the dishes were done, Sara gathered her things and got ready to head to her apartment. Grissom walked her to the door and kissed her goodbye. "I'll see you at work. Drive safe."

Sara got in her car and opened the garage door. Starting the engine, she gave Grissom a wave and a smile and backed out.

Grissom arrived at the lab ahead of Sara. He stopped at reception to pick up his messages. Whistling under his breath he headed down the hall to his office. He was puzzled to see the door already open and the light on. He was even more puzzled to see Conrad Ecklie standing behind his desk. "Conrad? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be somewhere sucking up?"

"I would watch my mouth if I were you." The smirk on his face looked almost painful. His only concession to the fact that he was supposed to be off work was that his tie was loosened. "I came by to tell you that you are being placed on administrative leave pending an investigation into your relationship with CSI Sidle."

"What?" Grissom's shock was evident. "What relationship are you talking about? She is my subordinate."

"Well, unless I'm mistaken, you don't kiss all of your subordinates in the parking lot. Nor do they all pick up a steak for your dinner." Ecklie did everything except rub his hands together in glee. "I have waited a long time for this, Gil, and I just want to say thank you."

"You have waited for what? Sounds to me like this is personal and has nothing to do with the lab." Grissom had walked around his desk and now had Ecklie practically pinned against it. "Who made the decision to suspend me?"

"I made the decision. That is my job after all. I am director of the lab in case you've forgotten." Ecklie's words were strong but his eyes were nervous. "Now, before you do something you will surely regret, I suggest you leave."

"Fine," Grissom spat, "but let me assure you this isn't over. I'll be appealing this first thing in the morning." With that he turned and stormed out of the office, back up the hall and out the front doors. Climbing into his car her pulled out of the parking lot. He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't even see Sara turning in.

Sara pulled into a parking space and got out of the car. She stared in the direction Grissom had gone with a puzzled expression. _Wonder what he's up to now? Maybe he forgot something._ Shrugging she proceeded to clock in and drop her stuff in her locker. When she got to the break room she paused at the sight of Ecklie standing in Grissom's normal spot.

"What's going on?" she asked as she walked through the door and over to the coffee pot. "Where was Gris going?" Looking around she could tell that the rest of the team was just as confused as she was.

"Have a seat Sara," Ecklie said, "I'll explain it to everyone at the same time." When Sara had taken a seat, Ecklie cleared his throat and addressed the group. "Dr. Grissom has been placed on administrative leave." When they all started talking at once, he held up his hands for silence. Gaining their attention he continued, "Catherine will be interim supervisor. You will all report to her. Now, I have the assignments for tonight." He passed them out pairing Sara with Greg and sending Nick and Warrick out alone. Finished with that he said, "Catherine, I need to speak with you. Let's use Gil's office." Turning, he walked out of the break room as if he hadn't just dropped a bomb.

"What the hell is going on?" Sara asked. "What does he mean by administrative leave? Why? For how long?"

"Yeah," the three guys chimed in, each tying to talk over the others.

"I don't know but I intend to find out. Until I do, please just hold it together." With that Catherine left the break room and went looking for Ecklie.

Nick looked over at Sara and asked, "What's going on? And don't give me that 'I don't know' crap. We know that you and Gris are very close."

"What? What makes you think I know anything you don't?" Sara asked. She chose to ignore the implication of his words.

"Come on, Sara," Nick continued, "we all know you guys are involved. Just because you haven't said it doesn't mean that we haven't figured it out. We all got the same 'follow the evidence' speech as you."

Suddenly something clicked in Sara's mind. Up until that moment she hadn't considered the possibility that this could have anything to do with her. But what if it did? That had been Grissom's greatest fear. Oh God, how could they have been so careless this morning, kissing in the parking lot?

Warrick saw the change in Sara expression and said, "Come on, Nick, let's go. Catherine will find out what's going on. Leave Sara alone."

"Whatever," Nick said with a disgusted tone. "Let's go."

The two headed out of the break room leaving Sara and Greg behind. "Greg, meet me in the car. I need to make a phone call."

"Okay," Greg said. "Sara, everything's going to be fine." He gave her a lopsided smile and went to get his stuff.

Sara opened her cell phone and dialed Grissom. It rang several times before going to voice mail. When the beep came Sara said, "Hey. I know you're there. Please call me. I need to know what happened. I'm worried about you."

Grissom was sitting on his couch with a drink in his hand when he saw Sara's name pop up on the caller id and deliberately let the call go to his voice mail. _I can't face her right now. This is exactly what I knew would happen. How could I have been so stupid?_


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 10

"Alright, Ecklie, what's going on?" Catherine demanded as she walked into Grissom's office and closed the door behind her.

"Sit down Catherine," Ecklie said motioning toward a chair. He had already seated himself behind the desk.

The site of him in Grissom's chair only served to anger her further. "Since you already have the seat assigned to me, I would prefer to stand."

Ecklie stood and moved from behind the desk. "Be my guest. It will be yours soon anyway."

"What do you mean by that?" Catherine asked. "You know, as well as anyone, that I gave up swing shift to work for Gil. What makes you think I want his job?"

"It may not be a matter of wanting his job. It may be a matter of filling an empty position." The look on Ecklie's face had Catherine's nerves jumping.

"Okay," she said, "I'll bite. What has Gil done this time? Not filled out a report? Not written a review? Not solved enough cases? Not made this damn lab look good by selling his time to enough seminars and lectures? What?" Her voice rose with each question until she was almost shouting.

"How about sexual harassment?" At her shocked expression, Ecklie nodded. "Yes, you heard right."

Catherine laughed harshly. "You must be joking. Who did he harass? Did someone file a complaint?"

"No one filed a complaint. Why would they? It is obviously in CSI Sidle's best interest to continue trading sexual favors for her job." The sarcasm dripped from his voice. "I expressly told Gil to fire her and he refused. Now I know why."

"Sara isn't trading sex for her job. She's a damn good CSI and you know it. Grissom stuck his neck out for her because we are a team. Not because she's sleeping with him." The minute the last sentence left her mouth she knew she had made a mistake.

"So she is sleeping with him. How long have you all been covering this up?" Ecklie said with great satisfaction.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Catherine snapped out.

"Well, you see, Catherine, I saw something today that tells me otherwise. I know that you want to protect him but you need to be careful not to let him drag you down." With that Ecklie left the office.

After a moment's hesitation, Catherine left the building in search of Grissom.

She drove to Grissom's townhouse and parked in the driveway. She almost jogged up the walk and started banging on the front door. When he didn't answer she started calling his name. Finally, Grissom opened the door. "Go away, Catherine," he said and then turned away leaving the door open.

Catherine followed in him, closing the door. "Gil, are you okay?"

Grissom sat down on the couch and picked up his drink. "No, Catherine, I am not okay. I'm bordering on really bad." Grissom's voice was sharp.

"What happened? Ecklie says he has proof you and Sara are sleeping together. What kind of proof?" Catherine had taken a seat next to Grissom and laid her hand on his arm.

"If I told you it was none of your business would you go away?" Grissom asked. His blue eyes were cloudy and bleak. He leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No," she paused,"My God, Gil, Ecklie is after your job. I want to help. I can't do that unless you tell me what happened."

Grissom sighed heavily. Slowly he began to speak. "This morning I was still at the lab when Sara got back from a case. I could tell she was upset about something. We walked out together. She needed to run a couple of errands and…Here's where the trouble starts." He laughed without mirth. "And I kissed her."

"Oh, Gil, what were you thinking?" Catherine asked.

"It gets better. She was going to pick up a few groceries and then come here. I walked over to my car and called back for her topick up something for dinner." Grissom had slid down, propped his feet on the coffee table and closed his eyes. "How could I have been so careless?"

"You know when you care about someone and are comfortable with that you tend to express it. That's not careless that's human." Catherine's smile was sad. How could the man be so brilliant and yet so dense? "Now what are we going to do about this?"

"I can't do anything until tomorrow. I already told Conrad that I would be filing an appeal first thing. Right now all I can do is wait." Grissom turned his head and looked at Catherine. "Who's taking care of the lab?"

"Don't worry about the lab right now. Everything is fine." Catherine paused before saying, "Everyone is going to want to know what happened. What do you want me to tell them?"

"Don't tell them anything," Grissom said. "They don't need to know."

"What? How can you say that? They care about you. They deserve an explanation." Catherine's eyes were blazing, her indignation palpable. "I can't believe you would say such a thing."

"What do you want from me Cath?" Grissom met her anger with anger of his own. "I knew this would happen. For years I did everything I could to stay avoid this. I knew the rules and I deliberately ignored them. What was I thinking?"

"Gil, did it ever occur to you that you aren't the only one this affects? What about Sara?" Catherine asked.

"What about her? It's not her career on the line," Grissom snapped.

"Gil, please tell me you don't intend to punish her for this. She isn't guilty of anything except loving you. Gil…" Catherine's eyes searched his face. "Have you even talked to her?"

"No, I haven't. She called but I couldn't answer. I don't know what to say to her." The anger seemed to drain from him. He leaned back against the cushions and closed his eyes again. "Please just leave me alone now. I need to think."

"Okay, I'm going but remember what I just said. I'm not going to lie to the guys. If they ask I'll tell them what happened." With that hanging in the air she left.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 11

Sara met Greg at the car. Handing him the keys, she climbed in on the passenger's side. She was so distracted that she didn't see the shocked expression on his face. Greg's voice didn't penetrate her thoughts at first.

"Sara," Greg said loudly.

"Huh? What Greg?" Sara said with obvious irritation.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Sarcasm fairly dripped from her voice.

"You know Catherine will find out what is going on. Grissom couldn't have done anything too bad. I'm sure this will be straight in a couple of days." Greg's normally cheerful demeanor was subdued.

"Greg, I appreciate the thought, but I'm not sure that Catherine can fix this. I think this is something I may have to take care of." Sara said with a quiver in her voice. She turned her head quickly to the window so Greg couldn't see the tears in her eyes. My God, what is wrong with me? I never cry and that's all I've done today.

Greg thought it wise to keep his questions to himself. After all, the wrath of Sara could be scary and he didn't want it turned on him. When they arrived at the scene Sara seemed to snap out of her fog. She answered Greg's questions and guided him when necessary. The only way anyone could tell something was wrong was the absence of their usual banter.

When they reached the lab Sara left Greg to log in the evidence they had collected and went into the locker room to call Grissom again. She got his voice mail and left another message asking him to call her back. Now, she was not only worried, she was getting angry. She knew he had his phone so why wouldn't he answer it? He's probably not taking my calls again. Sitting disconsolately on the bench, lost in her own thoughts, Sara didn't hear the door open. 

"Sara?" Catherine called out.

Sara jumped and pressed a hand over her heart. "God, Cath, you scared me half to death." Sara's voice was breathless and her eyes wide.

"Sorry. I thought you heard the door. Are you okay?" Catherine posed the question in a compassion filled voice.

Sara's eyes filled with tears that she angrily wiped away. "I don't know. I can't get Grissom to answer me. I'm not sure what is going on with him. And all I want to do is cry." Sara thought for a minute and continued, "I guess that means I'm not okay, huh?"

Catherine came over and took a seat next to Sara. "You know this is all going to work out, right? Ecklie doesn't have a leg to stand on. He's just blowing smoke."

"What exactly is he alleging? I don't even know, for sure, why Gris is suspended much less what Ecklie is standing on." Sara's words were sharp her eyes wary.

"I think you've figured it out." At Sara's pointed glare, Catherine snapped, "He saw the two of you in the parking lot this morning. He is claiming that you traded sexual favors for your job. He is going to try to fire Gil for sexual harassment. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Catherine watched the tears spill over Sara's bottom lashes and felt guilty for being so harsh. Reaching out she wrapped her arm around the younger woman and said, "I'm sorry. This has everyone upset. I just feel helpless and I hate that feeling."

"You know this is what he was afraid of for all those years. I practically forced him into this relationship and look what happened," Sara's tear choked voice broke and she buried her face in her hands.

Catherine stroked her hair and whispered nonsense to her as she cried as if her heart would break. After several minutes Sara pulled away from Catherine and sat up. "Thanks. I needed that," Sara said with a bleak smile. "What am I going to do? He won't even answer my calls. I'm sure he's sitting at home reminding himself of why it wasn't a good idea to get involved with me."

Catherine didn't tell Sara that Gil was doing just that. Instead she said, "Why don't you go? Go to him."

Sara shook her head. "No, I've got a case to work and…"

Catherine interrupted. "Greg can handle it. If not, I'll be here. Go to him, Sara. He needs you."

Sara's head snapped around and she stared incredulously into Catherine's eyes. "Thank you." At Catherine's puzzled expression she elaborated. "Thank you for saying that even if he doesn't believe it."

"Go," Catherine said as she stood up. When she reached to door, Catherine turned and said, "Don't believe everything he might say tonight. He's hurt and angry but he loves you. Let me know if I can do anything." With that she left the locker room in search of Greg.

Sara slowly gathered her things and left the lab. The drive to Grissom's was the longest she had ever made. Her mind was tumbling, moving faster than the speed of sound. Every moment of her time with him played like a motion picture behind her eyes. Every kiss, every touch and every glance were running through her head. There was a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and her hands trembled. How was she going to face him? He must hate her. She had put everything he had ever worked for in jeopardy because she couldn't take no for an answer. Tears streamed uncontrollably down her face blurring the street signs and traffic lights. As she turned into the driveway and hit the remote for the garage Sara noticed that Grissom's house was completely dark. Parking her car, she left herself into the house.

As she closed the door behind her she called out his name. Flipping on a light she went in search of Grissom. She found him in the living room, sitting in the dark, staring at nothing. "Gris?" she asked in a tentative voice. "Are you okay?"

"Why are you here, Sara?" Grissom's weary tone made Sara's heart melt.

"I couldn't stay away. I need to know that you're alright." Sara walked over to the couch and perched on the edge of a cushion. She didn't touch him for fear he would reject her.

"Do you think I'm alright? I have been suspended or haven't you heard?" Grissom said calmly.

"Yeah, I've heard. You know this won't stick Gris. Ecklie is full of shit," Sara said emphatically.

"Is he now? Which part did he get wrong, Sara? The part about me kissing you? The part about me asking you to pick up something for dinner?" Grissom raised his voice to match hers. "If my memory serves he got nothing wrong. This is exactly what I was afraid of."

His last words were like hammer blows on her soul. "I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen," Sara said around the lump in her throat. "I'll go if you want me to."

Grissom sat for a moment before turning to look at her. "I think that would be best under the circumstances."

Sara sat there stunned. This was the same man who had made love to her less than eighteen hours earlier. The same man who had washed her and dried her and held her. This was the same man who had wiped away her tears. "Okay," she whispered. Rising from the couch she walked slowly through the kitchen and out into the night.

As the door closed with a deafening click, the first tear slid slowly down Grissom's cheek. 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 12

Grissom was waiting outside the sheriff's private office by eight o'clock the next morning. The dark circles under his eyes were the only proof of his sleepless night. During what was possibly the longest eight hours of his life, he had passed from angry to depressed to resigned. He knew things looked bleak. Conrad had been trying to find something to use against him for years and he had handed it over on a silver platter. The phrase 'how could I have been so stupid' kept running through his head. He had entered the building through the back door in order to avoid running into any of his team that might still be inside. He sat ramrod straight, hands clasped between his knees, waiting on the sheriff to see him. He had decided the best course of action was to tell the truth and take his licks. Surely his solve rate, his contributions to the lab and the solve rate of his team counted for something.

"Dr. Grissom, the sheriff will see you now," the secretary said. She had been casting surreptitious looks his direction, trying to figure out, from his appearance, if the rumors were true.

Grissom rose slowly from the chair. "Thank you," he said, his face expressionless, and walked through to the inner office.

The sheriff looked up when Grissom cleared his throat. "Gil, come in and have a seat. What can I do for you this morning?"

Grissom took a seat and paused for a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking. "I'm sure you are aware of Conrad's accusations against me. I am here to file an appeal on the suspension."

"Well, I've read Conrad's report and, I must say Gil, I was shocked. I mean everyone knew Ms. Sidle had a thing for you. I guess I just expected you to show a little restraint." Noticing the pained expression that crossed Grissom's face, the sheriff leaned back in his chair and linked his hand over his stomach. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"Do you mind if I hear what Conrad is alleging? It will be hard to dispute accusations I have never heard." Grissom's face was expressionless once again. His features carefully set to reveal nothing of his inner turmoil.

The sheriff shuffled through a stack of files and handed a very thin one to Grissom. "Read it for yourself."

Grissom took the file and studied the outside, unable to believe something so small and innocuous could be so powerful. Opening it, he quickly read the report. Finished, he calmly leaned forward and laid it back on the desk. Still giving away nothing he began to speak.

"I can't deny some of the things in that report. However, I feel that my record should be able to stand on its own." Grissom closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Returning his gaze to the sheriff he said, "My team has the highest solve rate of any in this lab. Out of that team, Sara Sidle closes more cases and has a higher conviction rate than anyone else."

"I am not concerned with the solve rate of you or the members of your team. I am concerned with the relationship between you and a subordinate. I assume that is the part you can't deny," the sheriff had leaned forward in his chair propping his elbows on the desk. "There are rules Gil and they are in place for a reason."

"I am aware of the rules. I am also aware that the rules say nothing specific about supervisor/subordinate relationships. There has to be more to Conrad's complaint than what is in that file," Grissom said with conviction. "What did he say to get you to agree to suspend me?"

"Ah, always the investigator. You never take anything at face value do you?" the sheriff asked with a smile playing around his lips. "How long has this 'relationship' been going on?"

Grissom hesitated. He didn't want to lie but the truth was a scary thing. Finally he said, "About six months."

"Wow. That long, huh? I'm honestly surprised that you managed to keep it quiet for that long." The sheriff looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you what isn't in that report. Conrad is alleging you ignored a direct order from him to fire Ms. Sidle. I think you can read between the lines for the rest."

Understanding the implication and what it could mean for Sara, Grissom clenched his jaw and gripped the arms of his chair tightly. Keeping his expression carefully blank he waited on the sheriff to finish. Losing his temper at this point would be counter-productive.

Seeing that Grissom wasn't going to rise to the bait the sheriff said, "Gil, give me one good reason to revoke the suspension. I can't just undermine Conrad's authority because of the solve rate of your team."

"What do you want me to say? I can tell you I'm sorry. I can tell you I was stupid. I can say anything. It doesn't change what's been done. I have put my heart and soul into this lab and the only thanks I get is this." Grissom's voice was gruff and his eyes suspiciously moist. He turned his head, staring at a framed photo on the wall, until he was in control once again.

"Tell you what Gil, take a few days off. Let me do some digging. I'll let you know what I decide. Okay?" The sheriff stood and waited for Grissom to do the same. Walking around his desk he opened the door and waited until Grissom stood in front of him. "Make sure you make the right decision regarding this situation."

And then Grissom was out the door and through the outer office. Head down, he made is way through the halls and into the morning with the sheriff's last words repeating in his head. The sun was a bright white ball in the sky. His eyes protested the light and he fumbled with his sunglasses. Slipping them on he walked to the car and drove home. Like Sara the previous night his mind replayed every moment they had spent together. He could almost feel her skin, taste her, and hear her laugh and her moans. He could smell the scent that was Sara. He missed her with an ache he had never known before. He also missed his job. He had spent more than thirty years employed in this field. He couldn't imagine doing anything else. Even though there were no rules that prohibited their relationship he knew Conrad was only using this as an excuse.

Sara sat quietly on the deck behind her apartment. She had driven straight home from Grissom's and had been sitting there ever since. Her knees were drawn up and her chin rested on them. She had heard her phone ring several times and hadn't bothered to answer. She had finally stopped crying even though her cheeks were raw from the millions of hot, salty tears that had passed over them. She didn't seem to notice her surroundings. _How could she face the people at work? How would she ever hold her head up while people whispered about her spreading her legs for a job? How could Ecklie have taken something so good and twisted it into a hideous reminder of itself?_ With a deep sigh, Sara stood and entered the apartment. She stretched out on the couch, unable to sleep in her own bed because of the man who had been there. Within minutes her exhaustion overtook her and she fell into a troubled sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 13

Sara awoke with a start, surprised to find it dark. Her sleep had been restless and her dreams haunted. She sat up and turned on a lamp before staggering to the kitchen to make coffee. She had no desire for food so she wandered back to the couch with her cup and sat down. Checking her watch she realized she only had an hour and a half before she had to face her colleagues. Just the thought had tears welling in her eyes. Angrily she wiped them away and blew out a steadying breath. She eventually headed for the shower. Standing under the hot spray she replayed last night's scene with Grissom. She had known he was going to be upset but she honestly thought they had moved past the point of him pushing her away. When the water turned cold she got out of the shower and dried off listlessly. She stood in front of her closet without really seeing what was in it. She finally pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Once she was dressed, she pulled her hair into a pony tail and headed out the door.

She arrived at the lab without a minute to spare. She clocked in, stowed her stuff and went into the break room. Nick, Greg and Warrick were sitting around the table. All three gave her sympathetic looks but didn't say anything. Feeling the tears threatening again she mumbled a greeting and quickly made her way to the coffee pot. She had just sat down when Catherine walked in.

The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife so Catherine wasted no time handing out assignments. In a brisk manner she paired Greg with Warrick and sent Nick out solo. She asked Sara to stay at the lab and continue working on a case from the previous day. Once the three men had left, she took a seat beside Sara. "I tried to call you several times. Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"I couldn't talk to anyone. Sorry," Sara said. Her voice was rough with unshed tears. "I needed to be alone."

"Sara, no one should be alone at a time like this. Why don't you tell me what happened?" Catherine said, reaching over to take Sara's hand.

"He asked me to leave," Sara said. There was so much pain wrapped around those words that Catherine's heart broke for her. "He sent me away without a second thought."

"Oh, honey, you know him better than anyone. You know that he is licking his wounds. He has been a different person the past few months. This will all work out." Catherine silently said a prayer that what she said was true. Gil could be a very stubborn man when he wanted to.

"You know, Cath, I just don't know. I hope you're right but I have been rejected by him one too many times to really believe that," Sara said with a sad smile. "Come on, I need to work or I'm going to go crazy."

"Wait, before you go, the sheriff wants you in his office at 8 o'clock in the morning. You can have an advocate with you if you want," Catherine said gently. "Take Brass with you. He knows what's going on and wants to help. The sheriff is also going to talk to all of us. I just thought you should know."

"Great, just great," Sara moaned. She stood up and strode from the room.

Sara made the usual rounds, gathering reports regarding the evidence she and Greg had brought in the previous night. People were friendly enough but she could feel their questioning eyes on her back as she walked away from them. When she had everything that was available, she sat down at her computer and started the report. Having done all she could, she picked up her cell phone and placed a call to Brass.

"Jim Brass," he answered in his sharp New Jersey accent.

"Brass, hi, it's Sara." Her voice was tentative; as if she were afraid he would hang up.

"Hey, Sara," Brass' voice softened. "How you doing?"

"I've been better," she said.

"I know. Is there anything I can do?" His concern came through the phone and touched her heart.

"Um, yeah actually, I have a…uh…meeting in the morning. Could you go with me as my advocate?" Even now Sara had a hard time asking for help.

"Yeah, I can do that. How about I swing by there and walk over with you? Say about 7:45," he suggested.

"Okay. That would be good," Sara said and then added quickly, "oh and Brass – thanks."

"Don't worry, Sara, everything will be fine." With that he ended the call leaving Sara sitting with a bemused expression. Brass could be gruff but he was the kind of friend everyone should have.

The shift passed slowly. Catherine tried calling Grissom to make sure he was alright but got no answer. She was seriously debating another trip to his house when her phone rang. Glancing at the caller id she was relieved to see Gil's name pop up.

"Willows," she said.

"Catherine, it's Gil," he said.

"Where have you been? I have been trying to call you. Are you okay?" she said quickly.

"As good as can be expected," he admitted. "I wanted to find out how things are going."

"If you are asking about the lab everything is fine. If you're asking about Sara then everything is not fine. Gil, please talk to her." Catherine said quietly. "I have seen her angry but I have never seen her like this. She is in so much pain that it hurts me to look at her. She loves you, Gil, and deserves better."

"Cath, I can't talk to her right now. What would I say? My entire career is on the line and I need to concentrate on getting out of this mess." The weariness in his voice almost convinced Catherine to retreat but she took one last shot.

"Gil, does your career keep you warm at night? Does it hold your hand or scratch your back? Does it cook you dinner or laugh at your weird jokes? Does it hold you tight when you feel like the world is against you?" Catherine paused for a second and then said, "You don't have to say anything because I already know the answers."

"Cath…" Gil started to say.

"Shut up, Gil," she snapped. "You're making a mistake and I hope you see that soon."

"Catherine, I need to go. Call if you need me," Grissom said before breaking the connection.

Sara had spent the entire shift hoping Grissom would call. Her mood had become progressively worse as each hour passed. She was staring into space, her mind a million miles away, when Brass' knock brought her back to earth. Looking up, she said, "Hey. Is it time already?"

"Almost. I just wanted to talk for a minute first." Brass said and smiled crookedly. "I've heard what people have been saying and Ecklie is making some very ugly accusations. I don't want you to be caught off guard."

"I can imagine what people have been saying. Ecklie is a worm. He can't find another way to get Grissom out of the lab." Sara's voice was bitter. "Brass, you know I would never sleep with Grissom to further my career. My God, if it was just about sex I wouldn't have put up with the shit I've put up with."

"Sara, I don't think that's the right thing to say to the sheriff," he joked hoping to earn a smile. When none was forthcoming, he said, "Okay, let's go."

Sara stood and followed Brass out the door. They walked down the hall without talking. When they reached the sheriff's officehis secretary asked them to have a seat. She picked upthe telephone and informed the sheriff of their arrival. Brass sat bent over with his elbows on his knees. He rubbed his hands over his face and glanced warily in Sara's direction. She was sitting stiffly with her hands clasped in her lap. Her skin was so pale she didn't look human. Her eyes looked huge in her drawn face. Catching Brass studying her she tried to smile. The door to the sheriff's private office opened and Nick walked out.

Stopping in front of Sara, he said, "Don't worry. We all know the truth." Sara looked at him for a few seconds and then nodded. He smiled and walked away.

"The sheriff will see you now," the secretary said with a smile.

Rising, Brass motioned for Sara to precede him. "Thanks," he said to the woman with a half smile.

The sheriff was standing behind his desk and motioned them in. "Have a seat, Ms. Sidle, Captain Brass. Thank you for coming." He waited until they were both settled before being seated. "Ms. Sidle do you know why you are here?" he asked.

"Yes, sir, I do," Sara replied calmly.

"Good. That will save some time. I need to ask you some very personal questions and I want you to tell me the truth. Captain Brass will make sure I don't step out of line." He smiled briefly and opened a file that was in the middle of his desk. "First let me say that you are not under investigation for anything, Dr. Grissom is. There are serious allegations of sexual harassment being made against him and I am trying to get to the bottom of this. Okay so far?"

Sara nodded and tried to hold her composure. Sexual harassment was a political powder keg and Grissom wasn't the most political creature.

Seeing Sara's nod the sheriff continued, "Now, Ms. Sidle, are you now or have you ever been involved in a sexual relationship with Dr. Grissom?"

"Yes," Sara said quietly.

""When did this relationship begin?" the sheriff continued.

"Um…about six months ago." Sara refused to meet Brass' stunned gaze.

The sheriff was taking notes as he asked, "Did Dr. Grissom ever ask you to perform sexual acts in exchange for overtime?"

"No," Sara snapped.

"Did he ever offer you a promotion or salary increase in exchange for sexual favors," the sheriff continued in a calm voice.

"No," she said, her outrage building. Brass laid a hand on her arm in a calming gesture.

"Do you recall an incident involving your behaving in an insubordinate manner with Mr. Ecklie and Ms. Willows?" the sheriff seemed to pin her to the chair with his gaze.

"Yes, I know which incident you are talking about," Sara said, a little puzzled by this question.

"Dr. Grissom was ordered to fire you and yet here we sit. Does that seem a little odd to you, Ms. Sidle?" The sheriff looked up, waiting on her answer.

Sara glanced at Brass who leaned over and whispered, "Did you understand the question?" At the shake of her head he looked at the sheriff and said, "I'm afraid we don't understand what you're asking. Is it odd that we are here or that she wasn't fired or that Gil was ordered to fire her?" Brass shrugged in bewilderment.

The sheriff gave a tight smile and said, "I need to know why Dr. Grissom didn't fire her?"

"I can't answer that question. I am not privy to the thoughts of Dr. Grissom," Sara said haughtily.

"Did you offer to have sex with Dr. Grissom in order to keep your job?" His blunt question took Sara by surprise.

"No," she shouted. "I never made such an offer, not that it would have been accepted anyway. Dr. Grissom is the most honorable man I have ever had the privilege to work for. For you to question his integrity is completely out of line." Her hands were shaking and she gripped the arms of the chair to still them.

"Sara," Brass warned, "calm down."

"Ms. Sidle, I appreciate how hard this is for you but it's necessary. If I don't ask then I have no choice but to believe Mr. Ecklie's story. Surely you can understand that I am trying to be fair." The sheriff held Sara's gaze with his own until she dropped her eyes.

Nodding she said, "I understand."

"Good," he said, "now let's get this wrapped up. Do you agree with Mr. Ecklie's allegations of sexual harassment?"

"Absolutely not," Sara said emphatically. "Grissom has never abused his position in that way. He has never made any comments that would lead me to believe otherwise. Sheriff, I believe that my record proves that I don't have to fuck to keep my job. I am a good CSI. Check the stats, they'll speak for themselves."

The sheriff sat quietly for a moment and then, standing, he said, "Ms. Sidle, thank you for coming. Captain Brass. I appreciate your candor."

Sara and Brass rose and left through the door they had entered fifteen minutes before. Sitting in the reception area were Warrick and Nick. Sara stopped long enough to say, "You know this is bullshit, right?" When they both nodded she gave them a half smile and said, "Thanks," before walking out the door.

Sara unlocked the front door of her apartment. She was so tired she should probably sleep for a week. Pushing open the door, she stopped and stared. Slowly she closed the door behind her and walked half way across the room before pausing. "Hey," she said tentatively, "how did you get here?"

His eyes searched her face, taking note of her pallor and the circles under her eyes. "Catherine brought me," Grissom said as he stood and walked over to meet her.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 14

Catherine was about two blocks from her house when her phone rang. Checking the caller id, she was surprised to find Gil on the other end. She answered and after a brief conversation she made a u-turn and headed back the way she had come. About fifteen minutes later she pulled up in front of his house. He was waiting in the driveway and was opening the passenger's door as soon as she stopped.

"Hey, Gil," Catherine said. "I'm glad you called."

"I didn't have a choice." That simple sentence said more than any flowery statement could have.

Catherine put the car in reverse and backed out. The two rode in silence with Gil staring out the passenger's window and Catherine watching him out of the corner of her eye. When they reached their destination Catherine asked, "Doesn't look like she's here. How are you going to get in?"

"I have a key," Grissom said and gave a rueful smile at the look on her face. "You don't know everything about me, Cath."

"Okay, well, how will you get home – if you need to?" Catherine asked.

"I'll call a cab. I just didn't want my car here. Thanks for the ride." He climbed out of the car and hurried into the building where he let himself into Sara's apartment.

"How did you get here and why did you come?" Sara asked.

"I had Catherine bring me. And I'm here because I have to be," he said. His blue eyes searched her brown ones, taking in the hurt, the utter exhaustion. He reached out and ran his hand over her hair. "I need you."

"You didn't need me twenty-four hours ago. What's different?" Sara asked, her voice thick with emotion.

"I'm sorry. I just had to have some time to think. I was angry – at myself, at Ecklie, at you. Mostly at myself." Grissom's voice was soft. He paused a moment and then continued, "Please forgive me. I was wrong."

Sara leaned her cheek into the hand that had come to rest there. She closed her eyes and tears leaked from underneath her lashes. Turning her head she placed a lingering kiss on the palm of his hand. She pulled away and walked around him, settling on the couch. She leaned her head back against the cushions and closed her eyes. "You know, Gris, this isn't fun for me either. I just spent some time with the sheriff. I had to listen to him say that I am sleeping with you so that you won't fire me. Not only that, but I did this with Brass in the room. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"

He had turned to watch her and now said, "Oh, Sara, I never considered what this would mean for you."

"Not just me, Grissom, the whole team. He's interviewing all of us. Any time your life touches others they become a part of your universe. You can't hold yourself apart no matter how hard you try. I'm sure there's a quote about that somewhere but it escapes me right now." Sara opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling knowing she couldn't look at him without more tears. "Why are you angry at yourself?"

Grissom sat for a moment trying to gather his thoughts. He still found it difficult to share his feelings. Eventually he said, "I was angry because I put myself in that position. For some reason I thought I could have it all. I could have you and my career and keep them separated. I was ashamed of being caught and that made me mad too. I should never be ashamed of you. You are a wonderful person and I am grateful for every crumb you throw my way. I just thought I could take that from you and never tell anyone about it."

Sara lifted her head and locked eyes with him. "I thought we were past all this, you now. I thought I was what you wanted and we would figure out how to make this work. How could I have been so stupid?" She jumped up and began to pace.

"Sara," Grissom started. He sat on the couch with his mouth moving and no words coming out. Finally, he started again, "Sara, I don't know if I can do this. I can't imagine life without you but my work is all I have ever been able to count on. I always knew that this would happen. That's why…" with a shrug he closed his mouth.

"I think you need to go." Sara had stopped pacing and stood with her back to Grissom. She had wrapped her arms around her waist in a protective gesture. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'll take you home since you were afraid to drive here." Sara walked over and picked up her keys where she had dropped them on the counter. When she turned around she bumped into Grissom.

He reached out and held her arms to keep her from falling. "Sara, please let's work this out."

"Work it out to whose benefit? You want me to love you with nothing in return. Well, hell, I've been doing that for years and you didn't even have to get suspended for it." Sara's voice was bitter. She shrugged off Grissom's hands and headed for the door. "Let's go." She snatched open the door and left him standing there.

After dropping Grissom at his house Sara returned home. She took a shower and climbed into bed. She lay there refusing to think about Grissom until sleep finally overtook her.

The next few days passed pretty much as usual. Sara worked, went home and cried herself to sleep. The team had fallen into an uneasy routine. None of them knew how to deal with Sara. Suspecting that the two were having a relationship was one thing. Having Grissom and Sara's deceit thrown in their faces was another. On the sixth day of Grissom's forced vacation Ecklie and the sheriff were waiting on the night shift crew when they arrived.

When everyone had gathered in the break room Ecklie stood stiffly in front of them, his eyes hard with anger, and cleared his throat. When he had their attention he said, "I just want to let you all know that Dr. Grissom will be returning to work the day after tomorrow. However, Ms. Willows will remain in charge of this shift." With that he turned and left the room.

The four CSI's sat in stunned silence. The sheriff pushed off the edge of the counter where he had been leaning and looked over at Sara. "Ms. Sidle may I speak with you for a moment? Privately?"

"Um, yeah sure," Sara replied. Standing she avoided the curious glances from her colleagues and followed him to Grissom's office.

The sheriff closed the door and gestured for her to take a seat. He then sat down behind the desk and smiled. "I just wanted to apologize to you for the other day. I hope you know that I had to ask those things in order to refute the accusations."

"I understand," Sara said, "that doesn't mean I had to enjoy it."

"Well, of course, that's true. I probably wouldn't have liked it if the situation were reversed." He continued to hold Sara's gaze and then said, "I have decided to keep Catherine in charge of the shift for a reason. Would you like to know what that is?"

"I guess. You obviously want me to know," Sara said with a tight smile.

"Well, since you asked so nicely, I'll tell you. I did as you suggested and reviewed your service record. I went over the stats for the shift and for you personally. I must say, I was impressed. It is because of your impressive solve rate that I have a special project for you. I want to leave Catherine in charge of the shift because I want to keep Gil available to help you as needed." He paused as if he were waiting for Sara to ask a question. She decided to wait him out. Finally he said, "I have suspicions that someone has been leaking information about drug raids. We are getting good information and doing the leg work and coming up empty handed too often for it to be coincidence. I know it is coming from inside the department. I just don't have any proof. I need you to find out who it is."

"I'm not IAD," Sara's tone was indignant.

"That's why you will be perfect for this. Anytime Internal Affairs is called in everyone becomes model cops. No one will realize what you're doing until it's done." The sheriff watched Sara carefully. "Will you help me?"

"Is this a condition of Grissom being allowed to come back to work?" she asked with a bite in her voice.

"You know, Ms. Sidle, that's what I like about you. People always know where you stand on something. To answer your question, no," he said with a smile. "Dr. Grissom will be at work in a couple of days anyway."

"Can I let you know? I really need some time to think about this." Sara met his direct gaze with one of her own.

"I need an answer tomorrow," he said. Pulling a card out of his pocket and scribbled his cell phone number on it and held it out. "Call me at this number and let me know. I really hope you decide to help me on this." With that he stood and held out a hand to Sara. "Thank you for your time."

Sara shook his hand and turned and left the room. She went in search of Catherine to get her assignment.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 15

Sara hadn't spoken to Grissom since the day she dropped him off in front of his house. She had avoided his phone calls and ignored his emails. Sheneeded the time to think. The problem with thinking is the inability to control the human mind. No matter how hard she tried Grissom continued to pop into her head at the most inopportune times. After her conversation with the sheriff she had what she had been looking for, an excuse to talk to him.

Whenher shift endedSara drove to Grissom's house. Using her remote, she opened the garage door and drove in. She let herself in through the kitchen door and called his name. Getting no response she continued through the kitchen and living area, up the stairs and into the bedroom. There she spotted him. He was on his side, his hair mussed and his lips parted in sleep. My God, the man has the sexiest lips I have ever seen, she thought. Sara felt tears well in her eyes at the sight of him. She couldn't believe that she had any left in her body after the rivers she had shed in the past week. She called his name softly at first and then, when he didn't stir, a little louder. Finally, she walked over and touched his shoulder.

He came awake with a start. His eyeswere confused when he saw her standing there. Slowly, recognition dawned and he smiled. "Hey," he whispered in a sleep roughened voice.

"Hey yourself," Sara responded quietly with a smile of her own.

Grissom slid toward the middle of the bed and patted the mattress beside him. Sara sat down and said, "I need to talk to you about something that I don't want anyone else to know about."

With eyebrows furrowed Grissom asked, "What do you not want anyone else to know?" The hidden message in his words wasn't lost on Sara.

"It's nothing earth shattering. I just had a conversation with the sheriff last night and I'm not sure what to do about it. I just wanted some advice and you're the first one I thought of." Sara shrugged as if she couldn't imagine why.

"Oh," Grissom said the disappointment evident in his voice. "Well, at least you thought of me first."

"Why don't you get dressed and I'll make some coffee? If that's okay," she added quickly.

At Grissom's nod she stood up and headed out to get the coffee ready. After a few minutes he joined her in the kitchen. When they both had a cup they went into the living room and sat down at opposite ends of the couch.

"Okay, Sara, what's going on?" Grissom asked.

"Well, I heard that you are coming back to work. I'm glad. I've missed you." Sara watched him closely, drinking in the sight of him.

"Have you really?" His eyes probed hers. Seeing the truth shining in her face he said, "I've missed you too."

A smile slowly spread across her face and she leaned forward pressing her lips to his. Suddenly she was sliding across the couch and pressing her body to his. He was using his hands to press her closer. Her hands were in his hair letting the strands curl around her fingers. And then she was straddling his lap, forcing his head back against the cushions. She could feel his arousal pressing against her and she rubbed against it. He moaned into her mouth and began pushing her shirt up over her ribs and breasts until she ripped her lips from his so that he could pull it off. She sat there in her bra and yanked at his shirt until she could work it over his head. Then she was pressing against his bare chest and rubbing her hands over his skin. He found the clasp on her bra and opened it. He slid it down her arms and dropped it on top of their shirts and then he looked at her.

Tracing a finger down the slope of her breast he said, "You're beautiful. My God, Sara, I love you so much. I was such a fool and I am so sorry."

"Shhh," Sara said as she placed a finger against his lips. "I love you. Always have. Always will. We'll work out the details later." She climbed off his lap, pulled him to his feet and led him upstairs.

There was no time for tenderness. There were no whispered words of love and devotion. There was hot, hard sex. Low moans and ragged breathing filled the room. When Grissom entered Sara she raised her hips to meet his thrusts. She used her legs to pull him deeper. It was primal and beautiful. Then they were both over the edge, clinging to each other and crying out their release. For a long time neither of them moved. Grissom tried to roll over, afraid he was too heavy, but Sara's arms and legs held him in place. They lay with Grissom cradled between Sara's thighs whispering and talking nonsense to each other until they had started to forgive. Grissom put on his pants and handed Sara a t-shirt. When they were as dressed as they were going to get they went in search of more coffee. This time they sat cuddled up on the couch with Sara's head leaning against Grissom's shoulder.

"What else did the sheriff talk to you about?" Grissom asked.

His ability to pick up with their earlier conversation, as if the hour gap hadn't occurred, made Sara laugh. At Grissom's confused expression she said, "He asked me to work on a special project for him. He implied that you might know something about it. Do you?" she asked.

"Probably no more than you. When I talked to him yesterday he told me he wanted to put you on an investigation of some drug busts gone wrong. He also said that he wanted to leave Catherine in charge of the shift to avoid any hint of impropriety until the 'heat is off'. Why, what did he say to you?" Grissom stroked Sara's hair as he answered.

"He asked me to work with you on this investigation. I told him I would think about it and he has to know today. I'm not sure if I want to do this," Sara said.

"Sara, I can't tell you what to do. Obviously he thinks you're the one for this or he wouldn't have asked you. Besides, it would give us a chance to work together and prove that we can remain professional." Grissom kissed the top of her head.

Sara thought for a moment and then said, "You're right. Besides, it'll give us both a chance to work eight hour shifts and you know what that means, right?"

Grissom's eyes twinkled and he raised his eyebrow as he said, "What?"

In a very serious voice Sara said, "More time for sex."


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 16

Grissom returned to work with very little fanfare. The guys shook his hand and welcomed him back. Catherine handed out assignments and life in the lab returned to normal. With Sara and Grissom only taking cases that the others couldn't cover they were all working overtime. No one, not even Catherine, knew exactly what the two of them were working on.

Over the next several weeks Grissom and Sara read hundreds of reports. They scoured piles of paperwork, going back through surveillance logs and witness interviews. They talked with the cops that were involved in the attempted raids. Theygot absolutely nowhere.

It was a Wednesday night and they were both tired. Grissom was sitting across from Sara with several open files in front of him. He looked up as Sara said, "You know, Gris, there has to be something we're missing. The problem is the lack of pattern."

"Maybe the lack of pattern is the pattern," Grissom said, quirking an eyebrow. "Maybe we're looking for an obvious connection within the detective division when we should be looking further out."

"Okay," Sara said. "How far out do we look? We've eliminated everyone involved in these cases. We are running out of options."

Grissom sat for a moment, staring into space, before standing up and saying, "Let's get something to eat." Without waiting for a response he walked out the door. Sara sat there stunned for a moment before following him.

"Gris, wait up." Sara hurried down the hall behind him. "Where are we going?"

"We need a break. I agree that we are missing something but sometimes you can do better with a little distance." Grissom held open the passenger's door of the car and waited on Sara to get in. As he was driving out of the parking lot, he asked "How about Thai food?"

Sara was still a little surprised at Grissom's strange behavior. This man could go for days without sleep or food when he was on a case. Suddenly he couldn't go five minutes without Thai? "Sure, that would be fine," she said.

They were driving down the strip, headed for an all night place they both liked, when Sara suddenly caught a glimpse of a familiar face outside. "Hey, Gris, I think that was Ecklie. And he was talking to Joe DiMarco."

"Joe DiMarco? Isn't he new owner of the Tangiers?" Grissom glanced over at Sara. "Why would Ecklie be talking to him at one in the morning?"

"Maybe I was wrong. It probably wasn't Ecklie. I'm so tired I'm seeing things." Sara shrugged and turned back to stare out the window. But, like a dog with a bone, she couldn't let it go.

After dinner they drove back to the lab and settled in with the files again. After a while Sara looked up and said, "Gris, what if that was Ecklie?"

"What, Sara?" Grissom had been reading yet another report and wasn't sure he heard her. He looked at her over the top of his glasses and said, "Why would he have been out at that time of night?"

"Well, I think I remember reading in one of these," she gestured to the files spread around them, "that Mr. DiMarco is suspected of being involved in the drug trade. Apparently, there wasn't enough to do anything about it. But…" she let her voice trail off.

"Sara, if we went to the sheriff with Conrad's name he would throw us out," Grissom said.

"Not if we have proof. You said yourself that we need to look further out. We know it is from within the department but not necessarily the detectives themselves. We know that Ecklie is friends with Lt. Warrens. Maybe we've been focusing on the wrong things." Sara's voice had risen in excitement. She started digging through the folders trying to find the one that mentioned DiMarco.

"Hold on, don't get so excited. If you're right we will need an airtight case. We need to be very careful to dot all the I's and cross all the T's." Grissom leaned back in his chair and studied Sara across the table. "Are you sure you saw Ecklie?" At Sara's nod he said, "Then let's get started. Just remember we can't bend the evidence to fit the theory."

"Okay, the first thing we should do is find out where DiMarco's money comes from. How did he raise the capital to buy the Tangiers?" Sara said. Then, after a moment, she continued, "We also need a look at Ecklie's finances. There would have to be some sort of payment. Surely, he wouldn't do it for free."

"Well, we are going to need warrants for that and we are going to need evidence to get warrants. Why don't we start with Lt. Warrens? Maybe we can get him to lead us to Conrad," Grissom suggested.

"Okay. I guess that means we'll be here late again. What happened to more time for s-e-x?" Sara grinned.

"I don't think you have been doing without. Or have I just been having really good dreams?" Grissom returned her grin.

"Bugman, you do have excellent dreams," Sara said. She licked her lips and, when Grissom's eyes followed the path of her tongue, smiled. "If you don't stop looking at me like that I might spontaneously combust."

Catherine chose that moment to walk in. Feeling the electricity in the room she said, "Am I interrupting something?" There was a faint smile on her face.

Grissom jerked his eyes away from Sara and said, "No, Cath, what can we do for you?"

"I've got a DB and I need your expertise. It shouldn't take long. We can process everything except the bugs," Catherine said.

"Let me get my kit," he said. Turning back to Sara, he told her, "I won't be long. Keep looking for that reference and don't go anywhere without me." Then, giving her a wink, he followed Catherine out of the room.

Sara gathered all the files together and began scanning them for any mention of Joe DiMarco. She also started a list of the other names to be run against known associates. When she was done she decided to find a computer and run the background on Mr. DiMarco herself. That is where Grissom found her.

"Hey. What are you doing?" He asked as he came to stand behind her. He didn't touch her but she could feel his heat.

Tilting her head to look at him, she replied, "I decided to run DiMarco's background. I also made a list of the other players in those files to run against known associates."

"Good idea. What do you have so far?" Grissom asked.

"Well, it seems that Mr. DiMarco and one Conrad Ecklie graduated from NYU at the same time. DiMarco obtained his BA in Business Administration. After that he went to work with his father who owned several dry cleaners in the New York area." Sara continued, reciting what she had learned. "Now, I realize NYU is a very large school and the likelihood of these two knowing each other is small but…" she drew out the word with a smile, "it seems that our two heroes were roommates." Her face alight with excitement, Sara almost bounced in her chair.

"That information puts a new twist on this whole thing." Grissom looked thoughtful and then continued, "We still have no evidence that ties Conrad to this. Being someone's roommate thirty years ago isn't a crime."

"I know but it is more than we have on anyone else. I think we need to talk to the lieutenant again," Sara said assertively.

"Okay. We'll do that now. But we don't need to name names. Be discreet." Grissom almost laughed at the look on Sara's face. Telling her to be discreet was like telling her not to breathe. Sara rolled her eyes and, bounding up from her chair, headed out the door. Chuckling, Grissom hurried to keep up.

They interviewed Lt. Warrens again. This time their questions were designed to draw out any information he might have inadvertently given to Ecklie. After a lot of dancing around the man finally told them that the only person, outside the detective division,he could remember talking to about the cases was Conrad. They thanked him and left his office. Since it was already two hours past end of shift they decided to call it quits for the day.

As soon as they arrived at the lab the next night Sara went to work running the list of names for known associates. When none of them hit on DiMarco, Sara made a new list from the information she found and tried again. After about four hours she hit pay dirt.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. Jumping up she strode down the hall looking for Grissom. She found him hunched over a microscope examining evidence he had collected the night before. "Gris, I've got him. Apparently the busts were being made on mid to low level distributors. I couldn't tie those guys to DiMarco but when I ran their associates I found a couple who tied to him. I figure I could keep going up the chain but surely two should be enough to raise suspicion." Sara's eyes were bright and she was talking ninety miles per hour.

"Sara, slow down. We need to get this in a report. You can't get a warrant until you put it on paper." Grissom paused before saying, "Let me finish this for Catherine's case and I'll be right in."

"Okay. I'll get it started. We need to get this to the sheriff in the morning," Sara said. "I could kiss you right now." With a wink she turned and headed back to get her report started.

Both Grissom and Sara were waiting outside the sheriff's office when he arrived. Seeing them leaning against the wall, he said, "Gil, Ms. Sidle, to what to I owe the pleasure?"

Sara got straight to the point. "We are here to review our findings. I think that we have enough to get a warrant but we will, of course, need your approval."

"Well, in that case, let's go inside." He opened the door and flipped on the light in the outer office. Leading them through to the inner door he turned on another light and motioned for them to precede him. Holding up his Starbucks cup he said, "Sorry I don't have any coffee made. I think I have some water in the refrigerator. Would you like some?"

Grissom shook his head and Sara said, "No thank you. If you don't mind I'd like to get to the point."

"Ah, Ms. Sidle, you never have had any patience." The sheriff smiled ruefully and said, "Okay tell me what you've found."

Sara handed the sheriff a copy of her report and then laid out the facts. She made the connections that linked Joe DiMarco to the dealers and to Conrad Ecklie. She made the connection to Lt. Warrens. When she had exhausted all her information she fell silent.

The sheriff read through her report and then looked up. Glancing from Sara to Grissom and back, he said, "Are both of you sure about what you have here? No offense Ms. Sidle, but this could prove to be very explosive. Considering Dr. Grissom's suspension, and the circumstances surrounding that, we have to be very careful."

"All we want is a warrant to take a look at Ecklie's financial records," Sara said. "I believe that we are on the right track here. I understand your hesitation but this is not a witch hunt. You asked me to do a job and I am doing it."

"Sheriff," Grissom said, "I think we need to look at his financials. We would be remiss if we didn't at least do that much. If you know nothing else about me, you know that Idon't allow emotion to interfere with the evidence."

The sheriff sat for a moment, eyes closed, fingers pressed to his temples. Finally, he sat forward and said, "I'll get the warrant. It will be waiting for you when you come in tonight. Let's keep this under our hats for now." He stood, indicating that the meeting was over. As Grissom opened the door, the sheriff said, "Gil, be absolutely sure."

The following night Grissom and Sara picked up the warrant and went to work. They pulled Ecklie's financial records for the past two years. They began by checking for any large deposits or any large unexplained purchases. There it was. Beginning just one week after the first failed raid and occurring approximately one week after each subsequent raid were large deposits. They were being made to an account that wasn't listed in Ecklie's personnel file and were for ten thousand dollars each. Sara and Grissom sat in silence. Neither could believe what they were seeing.

Finally, Sara looked over and said, "We'd better call the sheriff."

When Conrad Ecklie was arrested the local news stations were all on hand. They recorded his shame just as they had recorded his posturing. As he made the 'walk of shame' from interview to booking Grissom and Sara were standing in the hall. He stopped in front of Grissom and said, "My lawyers will eat you alive, Gil."

Grissom responded, "We only followed the evidence, Conrad. The evidence never lies."


	17. Chapter 17

**Interoffice Memorandum**

To: Staff – Las Vegas Crime Lab

From: Catherine Willows Director

Re: Sara Sidle-Grissom

Date: June 2, 2011

This is to let everyone know that Dr. Gil Grissom and Mrs. Sara Sidle-Grissom welcomed the newest addition to their family today. They have a new daughter, Julia Elizabeth Grissom. She joins older brother Jonathan. If you would like to send well wishes please contact my office.


End file.
